"Pulp Song" 2004-05-01 - 1:09 a.m.

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the show tonight was awesome

but I've almost completely forgotten it because of Ruben

I really dislike being around drunk/stoned people, and Ruben is no exception

or rather, especially Ruben

the drive home just sucked

it was decided I would drive home, since he usually gets drunk at shows

so as I'm getting used to the car, he starts bitching about my driving

now, the rental car was a looot more sensitive than my old, shitty van

so my driving was real jerky and erratic

so Ruben's like: "jeez, I can see why your friends don't like to hang out with you" and "dude, if you want me to drive I'm really fine"

so that pissed me off to begin with

then on the drive home, he insulted my singing

now, he does that a lot, and he's usually just fucking around

but tonight I was already pissed, so I said: "I'm a better singer than you are a bass player"

so then he says he's a better bassist than I am a guitarist

and I wanted to fucking hit him

to be honest, Ruben is a shitty bass player

it's unfair to compare him to me, since I'm an extroardinary bass player

[I don't like to brag, but ask my friends, they'll tell you that's not a joke]

but it takes him forever to learn songs, and unless it's really simple he just will not learn it

and I think he knows he's a shitty bass player

so then he says that he's got feeling and intensity or some bullshit; and that I don't

so he launches off onto this lecture that lasted most of the ride home about what "punk" means, and thinking outside the box

first; if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's telling me shit I already know as if I don't know it

especially in lecture form

and second; I've been talking about doing stuff "outside the box" literally since the very first time I met Ruben

he's the one who's always saying we have to be more punk and Strokes/Ramones-esque

I wanted to set his ass on fire

then as we're getting close to my house, he starts talking about he's glad the ride is almost over,

like I was a pain to ride with

so I joked that I would drop him off at someplace near my house and let him walk home

so he challenges me to force him; I reached over and opened his door, and he said that if I actually tried to force him, I would be crying

and I was so close to just saying "fuck you, and fuck the band"

I wrote all the songs, I came up with the name, the logos, I even wrote half the bass lines

and Ruben's talking to me like he's this super-musician who's being held back by my lame attempts at creativity

I'm still having trouble calming down

we actually had a real argument and he apologized, and I'm just going to chalk it up to his being drunk

but for tonight I'm fucking pissed at him

on tuesday I'll still be the one coming up with everything, and he'll still be the one who can barely play his instrument

on a side note,

the drive from Tucson to Phoenix(and vise versa) is usually about an hour and a half to two hours

on the drive there we made it in an hour and 45 minutes

I made the drive back in a little over an hour; flying down the highway at 100 mph, just trying not to listen to Ruben's drunken lecture on the meaning of punk and why he's such an awesome musician

fuckhead

...anyway,

I'm going to finish with a happy memory, and talk about the show now

the show itself kicked ass

it was at this little club that wanted to be the CBGB's of Phoenix

hell, for all I know it is

but anyway,

the first band, The Evening, we missed most of because we got a little lost on the way there

well, that and when we got there we spent probably half an hour in the parking lot of the Burger King across the street from the club drinking(Ruben) and smoking(me)

but The Evening was alright,

the next band up was The Killers

I can't really think of who they sound like off the top of my head

at first I was a little indifferent towards them

but by the end of their set I was in love

they do this song called "Indie Rock & Roll's For Me" or something to that effect; that is just beautiful

I wanted to get their CD or something, but it's not out until June 16

and after them came Stellastarr*

I had so much fun at that show that it made up for not getting hit in the head by flying band equipment

I was flailing and headbanging a lot; and singing most of the lyrics along with the singer

their performance of 'Jenny' in particular was a lot of fun

I love that song

so afterwords we're leaving

and we walked to the back of the club and met the band,

they were standing around signing stuff

I dressed in my "nice" outfit

black pants and shirt, white belt, shoes and tie

so I had the band sign my tie

I congratulated them on their show[they were really awesome] and all four of them signed my white tie; it fucking rocks

and of course, when I got home I pinned it to my wall

[I seem to have a habit of doing that with stuff these days]

I can get another white tie to wear

that one's now a souvenier

I didn't get anything else at the show

[I did pick up a pin and a sticker, they were free]

I figured rather than getting a Stellastarr* t-shirt, when I already have about fifty shirts; I'd rather get some of the albums that I really want

so for a change I was responsible with my money, yay me

now on to tomorrow and Stephanie's latest drag show

I've got a tie that was signed by Stellastarr*, bitches

Sweet Dreams

**4:33 AM addition**

I don't think any of you will enjoy reading this, but I really need to vent. It would probably just be better if you all pretended that the entry ends at the 'Sweet Dreams' as usual

I can't sleep because I'm just so fucking pissed at Ruben

I can't get tired because I'm angry to the point of being violent

he wants to tell me that without the distortion pedal I wouldn't be any good?

he wants to tell me that I'll never be as good as he is?

yeah, because I'll never get my hand crushed by a rock and lose my fine motor skills

he still has trouble playing the songs; he has a serious problem learning the songs; and he still can't seem to get the timing down

I'm no Jerry Cantrell; but I can play guitar better on my worst day than he can play bass on his best

and he wants to tell me that he's got this "feeling" and "intensity"?

I'm twice as active as he is when we're playing; and I still hit all the notes with far better accuracy

and then he wants to talk about "thinking outside the box"?

fuck him

his idea of "thinking outside the box" is playing steady, normal bass lines

x note 8 times; y note 8 times; z note 8 times; repeat

I've got bad news for you Ruben, but The Ramones did that already

so did The Strokes

and so did your favorite band, those Stroke-wannabe bastards in Elefant

and that's just off the top of my head

at this point that kind of bass playing is the fucking box

it was the fucking box long before The Ramones, even

and he wants to tell me that he's so fucking original and out there when I've had to seriously dumb-down my guitar riffs to fit his idea of a punk band?

if I were to bring in the stuff I really wanted to play he would bitch and say that it wasn't punk

he would remind me that Kurt Cobain was dead

despite the fact that my stuff sounds nothing like Nirvana; or even grunge in general

Ruben likes to think he's so cool, but really he's just another elitist douchebag; who doesn't even know shit about the history of music

and he can barely fucking play his bass

the only reason I don't tell him to shove his crappy bass-playing and "feeling" up his no-talent, know-nothing ass is that I know he was just drunk

but seriously, even on good days now it's like we don't get along but we have the same goals for the band and the same work ethic

on bad days I fucking hate him

I would tell him to go fuck himself and find someone who can play their instrument and knows what they're talking about when they talk about music except for two things:

first, on a minor note; he owns the PA, and he pays the rent at the practice room

when I get a job I can buy my own damn PA; and I can always find another bassist or drummer with a garage

but second, and more importantly: I'm invested in The Remaining now,

I'm not going to give up my creation just because I don't always get along with that asshole

and make no mistake, it is my creation

I just hope we find a drummer soon or I may do something I'm going to regret

but I think the idea of hanging out with Ruben more often to solidify the band relationship is a bad idea; I think the best thing for the band is if we spend as little time together as possible

that alcoholic, elitist, no-talent, know-nothing asshole, douchebag, fucktard, son of a bitch motherfucker can just go fuck himself with the rustiest thing he can find,

right in the ass

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