"Somebody Told Me" 2004-05-02 - 4:18 a.m.

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another interesting night

my life's going to be boring from now on

no more shows

went to Stephanie's drag show tonight

picked up Turbonegro's album "Ass Cobra" on the way

I haven't listened to it yet, I hope it's as good as "Never is Forever", which is their first album, and the one I own

anyway

Stephanie's show was kinda meh

it started half an hour late

the shows always start a little late, but this was the longest delay yet

it was super boring

I kept flashing back to the show I was at the night before, picturing The Killers doing "Somebody Told Me" and Stellastarr* doing "My Coco" or "Jenny"

the show finally started, and Stephanie was third in

I hate to say it, but it wasn't really her best performance

it was funny because she did all these cheesy dance moves;

but it wasn't her best

anyway, for whatever reason we left after her performance

and went to a resteraunt at the mall

for whatever reason, Andrew wanted to go to KB Toys

and I don't know why my friends let me go too; they should know me well enough to stop me

but I saw they had new Megaman action figures out, and used the last of my money to buy one

as I was checking out, this creepy older guy that worked there was like: "have you seen the new Van Helsing figures?"

and I just kinda nodded and smiled

but he kept talking to me, and he just had this really weird look/tone on his face that made me practically run out of the store when I finished my purchase

it was fucking creepy

so anyway, when I went back to the resteraunt; I slowly became more and more remorseful about blowing the last of my money on a Megaman action figure

so finally I got up and took it back

I made up some lie about getting it for my younger brother, but he already had that one;

and the guy wasn't as creepy the second time around

so I got my whopping $6 back

after the resteraunt we went to Andrew's house and watched him play the third Lord of the Rings game for around an hour

and then we went to Wal-Mart and walked around pointlessly for a bit

really kind of an anti-climactic ending

but I got to hang out with my friends, which doesn't happen often

and I realized Andrew is a really cool guy

not that I disliked him before or anything, but I don't know

and now on to the depressing crap:

things in general are kind of crappy for me

that guy at the gas station didn't call me back friday like he said he was going to;

so I don't know what that means

I'm going to call him back monday and see what's up with that,

but if he's changed his mind about giving me a job; that puts me in a real shitty position

I'm gonna have to continue calling Wal-Mart until they either give me my job back or tell me to go fuck myself

in those terms

either that or go to the unemployment office like I've talked about and just keep searching for a job

and either way on monday I'm going to have to go to the bank and close my savings account, and transfer the whole $300 into my checking

that's not a big deal really,

but it's like a little personal defeat

like I finally had the money to start building something for the future; start a savings account that would be there if I needed it

but now I have to scratch that and put it all into a checking account that I'm going to slowly drain over the next x amount of months/weeks

like I was finally starting something, but I failed

...damnit

and the only other big thing in my life,

the thing I'm betting the farm on,

the band

that's looking sketchier and sketchier

I mean, overall I like Ruben

but our relationship has been getting worse and worse

and I think if things don't start to move soon it might mean the end of that

and I mean, things have been decent lately, almost solely because of the band

I'm counting on it both to liven up my life(for lack of a better phrase); and for my future

if the band goes...

no life

no future

I don't know if I could handle it

I can see things getting reeeaaaal bad if the band breaks up

I don't know

hopefully it won't come to that

but even with the band, things are pretty bad right now

and with no more plans for shows in the immediate future...

expect some dark entries coming soon

but tonight was pretty fun

I guess

Sweet Dreams

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