"Don't Follow" 2003-10-07 - 4:09 a.m.

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you wanna know the easiest way to get depressed?

read "15 Portraits of Despair" in the new Sandman: Endless Nights collection

it's highly depressing

and Despair has always reminded me of someone

someone I know, and used to be close to

it's not the person I usually talk about in here, but it's someone I do talk about

and reading that now, it just really made me hate myself

because things have been bad for her

and I wish I could do more

and I wish I could say that it feels like I'm behind glass or something,

but it doesn't

it feels like I'm just standing there

watching as she goes through this

and I don't do anything

and that makes me feel like shit

I did something once

and maybe that'll be enough

maybe that'll keep things from going too far

but maybe not

and what if what I'm afraid will happen happens?

what'll I do?

and why couldn't I have done more?

'cause right now all I can do is pray

that that doesn't happen

because I'm a coward

and I'm so sorry

I wish I could do more

If I could take away all her(and all my friends') pain and take it onto myself,

I'd do it gladly

I Wish I Could Eat Your Cancer, When You Turn Black

Sweet Dreams

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