"You're Not Here pt. 1.5/Deaf Forever" 2003-08-12 - 4:50 a.m.

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well, those of you expecting(and some of you, bizzarelly enough; actually anticipating) another nerd-out;

that has been postponed

sorry

I've come a long way in Silent Hill 3; and I'm either going to beat it tomorrow or die with my controller in my hands,

so once that's done I'm just gonna take tomorrow and have a gigantic full entry dedicated to Silent Hill 3; where I will talk about as much of it as I can remember

if there's anything else worthwhile that happens concerning my "real" "life"; I'll post it in a seperate entry

there will be a bit I want to discuss tonight at the end of this entry; but other than that you'll just have to wait

moving on,

I was watching All Things Rock while doing my schoolwork tonight in the (vain)hope that I would catch Audioslave's Ultra-Bad-Ass-Video;

and they had a little "rock-news" thing in the middle where they showed Ian Robinson(the fat, opinionated guy) interviewing people on some Metal tour about a poll on MTV.com where they ask: "who is the God of Metal: Rob Halford; Bruce Dickinson; or Lemmy Kilmeister?"

and they showed about three guys each giving support for all three

and I was so incensed that I couldn't concentrate enough to finish my schoolwork

I was seriously ready to ride into battle for the honor of Lemmy

I love Rob Halford;

and I tried to like Iron Maiden

I didn't try hard, but I tried

it didn't work out

but Lemmy is God

Rob Halford's The Man

but Lemmy is God

earlier today I was thinking how I was gonna go see Motorhead and Iron Maiden on the 22nd

and I was thinking: "man, wouldn't it be awesome if Judas Priest was the third act on the bill instead of stupid Dio?"

then I remembered: "oh, wait, Rob Halford's not in Judas Priest anymore."

then I figured: "oh well; I'd rather see Priest with Ripper Owens than stupid Dio anyday"

and that's doubly ironic not only because of that poll thing that MTV's doing;

but because during that they mentioned that Rob Halford has rejoined Judas Priest

and I'm praying that they'll join that tour and kick Dio's stupid ass off the bill

but I remember, I once saw a clip of an interview with Lemmy by some American reporter; and they didn't show the question; but Lemmy said something like: 'we're huge in Britain' and then: "we don't have many fans in America; but those we do have would kill for us. And that's just the way it should be."

and I still think: "that's damn right"; not only in agreeance with his statement; but because I know I would

if for some God-awfully-unrealistic reason it came to that; I would mount up and ride into battle in honor of Motorhead;

and just like the Scottish had bag-pipe players on the hill in their ancient wars; The Armies of Motorhead would have big trucks with the biggest sound systems in the history of sound systems blasting Deaf Forever and Orgasmatron and other Motorhead War Anthems

we'd fight to the last man; take no prisoners; and-

...oh, sorry

gimme a sec

umm, what else was there?

oh, right

that kinda leads into my second problem

I've been so insanely conflicted over what kind of band I want to start/be in

my influences differ so widely and change so often that I can't even decide what kind of music I want to play for a whole day

right now; my biggest influences(besides the perrennial Alice and Tool) are(in no particular order): Interpol; The Raveonettes; Built to Spill; The Ramones; The Pixies; Dinosuar Jr; and other such (comparatively)soft, punky stuff

but all I have to do is hear Lemmy's name mentioned; and I'm pulling on my combat boots and screaming: "gimme my bass! METAL FOREVER!!"

you can't have a band that can play something that sounds like Interpol one song; and then at the drop of a mood-swing play something that sounds like Motorhead

or else you end up with Sum 41

and nobody wants that

it's hard having eclectic tastes

you have to understand; at any given time, any band I listen to could be one of my favorite bands

the 5 I have listed out there are just what I'm listening to lately

I don't know

it bothers me

I haven't written a song in forever because I can't think of what kind of song I want to write

I don't even know what instrument I want to write it on

*sigh*

it shouldn't be this hard to be a music fan

anyway

moving on to simpler things

I have been meaning to say that I'm tired of being so freaking dirty all the time; and I'm trying to be cleaner

but that has no bearing on anything else I'm saying/will say

I'm just hoping the sudden and non-sequiter transition between that subject and the next will keep you from realizing just how shallow I am

and now for something completely different

*giant cartoon foot comes down and steps on the last sentence*

[oh yes, if you're one of the people who left at the spoiler warnings for Silent Hill 3 last night; you'll want to do so again]

***

remember how last night I was talking about how Heather is that baby Harry got at the end of Silent Hill 1?(I've got a summary of the story to that one all typed up; I'll put it in tomorrow's Big Silent Hill 3 Extravaganza)

well, in that one; it was kind've implied that the baby was a rebirth of Cheryl

but in #3; at first it kind've led on that Alessa was much more evil than I had suspected,

and it kinda seemed that they were going to do one of those "if you play like a bad guy, you become a bad guy; if you play like a good guy, you stay a good guy" deals; where if you were good you were a rebirth of Cheryl; and if you were bad you were a rebirth of Alessa

but now it's been cleared up that not only was Alessa more like I had originally thought(more on that in a moment); but you're definitely a rebirth of her

[another "last chance, MASSIVE spoiler" warning]

***

oh, and you're also pregnant with Samael again!

so it's gonna be interesting giving birth to the last boss and trying to kill him immediately afterwards

like I said; this will all be explained in greater detail tomorrow

right now I'm just kind've skimming over because it's mostly for me to vent and talk about it

anyway,

I'm really glad you're playing as a rebirth of Alessa

because of all the characters in the Silent Hill series; Alessa has always been one of the most intriguing to me

in the first one; they make it kinda clear that she doesn't want to be the mother of Samael;

but yet before that she's running around planting the Mark of Samael in various locations all over town

and from the story of #3; where you learn much more about the story from the first one,

it paints the same, mixed-message portrait of Alessa

and while I suspect I won't get a 100% full and clear idea of what's going on until I'm through with the game

(and even then it'll probably still be pretty up to you)

I like to think of her as not evil

and I think it's really cool to be playing as a kind of bastardized version of her

either way I think it's a cool name and I hope to be naming my daughter that some day

"Alessa"

it's like "Alissa" but not

of course for me it mostly has to do with what the name is attached to

but I just want the name; I don't want my future daughter to get caught up in a cult and end up pregnant with a Demon God

that would be bad

Sweet Dreams

[P.S. - I just remembered; I also heard that on the soundtrack for the movie "underworld" there's going to be a collaboration between Maynard and David Bowie. I got an erection when I heard that; and despite the fact that I'm pretty sure all my readers are women, you all should've too.]

Stoneface dog

swirling fog

gates open on the dark dark night

Standing stone

skull and bone

dead witness to an unseen fight

Beat the drum

beat the drum

beat forever on the endless march

Stricken dumb

cut and run

someone is screaming and the sky is dark

Sword and shield

bone and steel

rictus grin

Deaf forever to the battles din

Deaf Forever to the Battles' Din

March or croak

flame and smoke

burn forever in eternal pain

Charge and fall

bugle call

bone splinter in the driving rain

Horses scream

Viking dream

drowned heroes in a lake of blood

Armoured fist

severed wrist

broken spears in a sea of mud

Sword and shield

bone and steel

rictus grin

Deaf forever to the battles din

Deaf Forever to the Battles' Din

Mother earth

mother earth

enfold you in her cold embrace

Sinking down

killing ground

worm crawling on your cold white face

Win or lose

nought to choose

all men are equal when their memory fades

No one knows

friends or foes

if Valhalla lies beyond the grave

Sword and shield

bone and steel

rictus grin

Deaf forever to the battles din

Deaf Forever to the Battles' Din

Sword and shield

bone and steel

rictus grin

Deaf forever to the battles din

Deaf Forever to the Battles' Din

Deaf Forever

Deaf Forever

-Deaf Forever

Motorhead