"You're Not Here pt. 1" 2003-08-11 - 4:37 a.m.

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I haven't written for a while

after that last entry nothing I had to say seemed worthwhile

I finally got my grubby little hands on Silent Hill 3

and there's an interesting story about that

but I don't feel like telling it right now

there's quite a bit I want to talk about

some of it worth the effort

some of it mindless dribble

a lot of that mindless dribble will concern Silent Hill 3 in greater detail;

but at the moment there's one thing about the game that I need to vent about

if you plan on playing the game; be warned that there's massive spoilers in it

and for everyone: you may come out of this thinking that I'm dangerously psychotic; the biggest nerd you've ever even heard of; or both

so unless you're bored out of your skull and desperately trying to kill time; I would just move on

You've Been Warned

***

OK, in the game you play a teenager named Heather

and as the game goes on you find that she's connected to the events of the first game; that she's got some "Power"

I had been suspecting that she had been the baby Harry got from Alessa at the end of either of the good endings at the end of Silent Hill 1

later this was confirmed[Massive Spoiler #1]

I sat there smiling and repeating "I knew it" over and over for at least five minutes

anyway, you don't even start the game in Silent Hill; you start it in some other town

[when EGM first covered the game, they said it would be LA; but I think that's changed. And in the game a character mentions that Heather was raised in Portland. Wether that means the town you're in is Portland isn't clarified.]

and since you don't know what the fuck is going on, you're trying to get home, to your dad

your dad is Harry

(obviously)

well, when you get home

[and this is the other Massive spoiler; last chance to back out]

***

you find Harry murdered

I'll talk more about that in a moment

the blood trail leads to the fire escape which leads to the roof

up there you find Claudia(the game's villain; who I think is Dahlia's daughter; I'll explain this more tomorrow)

and you have the requisite "why did you kill my dad!?" argument

I said: "you have a fucking gun! SHOOT THE BITCH!"

and Heather impressed me by being quite possibly the first character in game history to actually take out her gun and point it at the villain

sadly, before she pulls the trigger, Claudia says: "I didn't kill your father; he did"(pointing to the other side of the dark roof)"I just gave the order"

now, I would have said: "is that supposed to change anything?"(or, due to my state of mind, probably something far less witty like: "Eat Shit!"[which is pretty much my battle-cry in videogames these days]) and just capped her anyway

but Heather blows her chance and looks at what Claudia is pointing at

Claudia tells you to meet her in Silent Hill; and takes off

then comes a boss battle, where you at least get to take down the actual Hit Monster

but now comes the actual part I wanted to vent about; that was all just set up

if you want to come out of this with any respect/presumption of sanity for me; leave now

but I was legitimately sad over Harry's death

it's been eating me up all night

I've sworn to myself to rip Claudia's fucking lungs out

it just sucks so hard

after all Harry went through, all the monsters he faced(many of which were much bigger, meaner, and tougher than that fucking Hit Monster. He killed fucking Samael for Christ's sake!!), all the nightmares he grimly plodded through

that he should just be murdered in his home

that sucks

and for everything Harry did, I was there with him

those of you who have been reading since when I first played through Silent Hill 2 know how involved I get in the character

how I get into the character like a good actor gets into the character of a role they're playing

I more or less become the character for the time I'm playing

and after going through so much with/as Harry;

the Elementary School; the Hospital; being manipulated by Dahlia; losing poor Lisa; the fight with Samael

after all that; for him to just be murdered in his fucking recliner 17 years later...

[this is the part that's gonna make you think I'm crazy]

Harry's(and most other characters that I've become attached to) just as real to me as Kurt Cobain or Johnny Depp or Steven King or anyone else that I feel like I know but haven't gotten to know in person

and for him to just get murdered...

it makes me legitimately sad and angry

I just pray that I get the chance to pull vital organs out of Claudia myself instead of her getting iced by what she's going to end up summoning(a la Dahlia or Curien) or escaping or some other BS

so yeah, I had to get that off my chest

if any of you have any desire to read this diary or have any type of contact with me anymore; I'll be very impressed

Sweet Dreams

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