"MY EYES!!!" 2003-06-15 - 3:29 a.m.

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today was certainly interesting

nearly the whole day was consumed by my Lens Crafters appointment

because I don't know if you know this or not; but putting in contacts is not as easy as it looks

you have to really learn to do it

and that takes a long time

OK, it's seriously about an hour

[the guy said "it usually takes people about an hour"; and it took me about an hour]

but that's a long time when all you're doing is sitting in front of a mirror shoving your finger into your eye

honestly I almost started crying

...because it was just so frustrating

and then they let my dad back there

I really did not want them to do that

I told the lady not to

and then half an hour later I notice out of the corner of my eye my dad walking in and just thought: "shit"

and it was as bad as I'd thought it would be

he just stood there saying supportive, encouraging things like: "come on, I don't wanna be here all day" and "maybe you shouldn't get contacts"

and he kept saying "just hold open your eyelid and stick it in"

like it was the simplest thing in the world and I was retarded for not being able to do that

and it sucks 'cause tomorrow is Father's Day and I just have to forget that and pretend I appreciate all the good fathering he does

bah

he doesn't want to give me money anymore, threatens to kick me out if I complain about housework, treats me like I'm retarded

good job, father

fuck

and for some reason me and my sister had to give him his presents tonight

but I got a minor victory in that I only got him sweatsocks; and since my mom payed for them anyway I just had her pick them up when she went to the store, and I didn't get him a card

so I just got to hand him this plastic bag with socks in it that I had nothing to do with purchasing

really reflects my feelings towards him

but anyway; back to my contacts:

I finally got the damn things in

and I have to say I enjoy my contacts

I got them in and it was so wierd

I could see but I didn't have my glasses on

and my glasses were actually tinted dark grey

and that had the effect of making the contacts seem that much more amazing because everything was so much brighter

but at the same time I think I developed a bit of light sensitivity while wearing them so long because even when I still wore them; whenever I had them off(ie-when I woke up in the morning) anything really bright would about blind me and actually be physically painful

and it's no different with the contacts; except now it's always bright

but anyway

now my eyes really hurt from all the time I spent shoving my fingers in them today

and in other news:

my fucking car broke again

it's like that verse in Quicksand by Dinosaur Jr:

"it's bad enough being at home

without a way to leave the damage is gonna show"

hopefully my dad will fix it tomorrow

it's either the starter or the battery

and you guys may remember that I just replaced the starter recently

so if it's the starter, either

A) we hooked it in wrong(because my dad made me do that and I don't know shit about cars)

or B) we can return that thing because there's no way it should be broken that quickly

if it's the battery then I have no idea what we're gonna do

assumedly my dad knows

the only question is wether or not he's going to make me owe him for any cost or not

I know he'll pay for it because he knows I can't get a job if I don't have a car

but like I said, wether he'll just pay for it or wether he'll expect me to pay him back once I get a job is the question

but whatever

I guess I'll just have to wait and see

I don't even know if the battery is the problem

and in the final story tonight:

Sindy is working on getting me a new layout, so you guys won't have to look at the big empty boxes with the little red x's in them anymore

honestly if she lived here or I lived there(or we both lived in Seattle) I would have to marry her

I would just have to

but I wouldn't be complaining at all

Sweet Dreams

My Life as A Movie:

opening credits: Social Parasite by Alice in Chains

party scene: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

falling in love scene: Can't Help Falling in Love by UB40

love love scene: Closer by Nine Inch Nails

driving after a break-up scene: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow by Rooney

driving to make-up the break-up scene: Everlong by Foo Fighters

plain old driving scene: Schism by Tool

chase scene: Touch Me, I'm Sick by Mudhoney

fight scene: Shitlist by L7

funeral scene: Superstar by Sonic Youth

closing credits: Rain When I Die by Alice in Chains

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