"dead-end guy without a dead-end girl" 2003-02-13 - 1:02 a.m.

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I saw this commercial for that one insurance companies' new plan about 'teen car insurance';

some cute girl was walking along and locking eyes with some 'cute' guy, until she knocked into a trashcan and fell over

the point was "social disaster insurance", but that's not the point I'm talking about

the point is that that'll never be me

I'm never the 'cute' guy that the girl is after

girls don't find me attractive

it's just that simple

Valentine's Day may be 'special' for people in relationships;

but it's extra special for us lonely people

it just drives home how alone and unattractive you are

I've been trying hard not to think about it,

but when it gets here, I'm probably gonna need to be on Suicide Watch

here's a quiz I lifted from "puppet-666"; I see these things and I have to post them and answer them myself, because I compulsively answer along with the person as I read them; so I have to post it somewhere with my own answers

but whatever:

x first grade teacher's name: "Mrs. Greenlie" I believe; and I have no idea how I remembered that, it just suddenly came to me(although I'm pretty sure that's not it)

x last word you said: either a curseword or something to my dog

x last song you sang: bits-of: 'Touch Me' by The Doors; whole-song: 'Sappy' by Nirvana, I believe

x what's in your cd player: The Pixies - Bossanova

x what color socks are you wearing: Black

x what's under your bed: box of CDs, box with Dance Dance Revolution pad; and robe/slippers/sleeping boxers

x where do you want to go: Seattle

x what is your career going to be: If I can get a cure/treatment for my stomach: Rock Star; if not: comic book artist or loser

x where are you going to live: Seattle

x how many kids do you want: at least 1, depends on what my wife wants

x what kind of car will you have: probably the same beat-up van I have now

x current mood: kinda depressed, happy because I'm hearing Tool's cover of 'Commando' by the Ramones; but since that finished while I was typing this, it's back to depressed

x current music: 'Twist of Cain' by Danzig

x current taste: Frappucino

x current hair: Shoulder length, blond, and greasy

x current clothes: same torn jeans and flannel I always wear; converse shoes and Ramones t-shirt with the cover of their self-titled album on it

x current annoyance: the nagging voice in my head telling me to do my homework

x current smell: the general stink of my room

x current longing: companionship

x current desktop picture: Squee, from JTHM

x current book: 'Through the Looking Glass' by Lewis Carrol

x current colour of toenails: plain

x current worry: Valentine's Day

x current crush: at the moment I'm refreshingly crush-free

x current time wasting wish: I have no clue what that means; is it "wish that's wasting time" or "way you wish you could waste time"?

x current hate: stomach

1. what's the story behind your DL username?: it had a meaning for a few seconds, but I forgot it

2. name five [5] of your favorite foods: Steak, pizza, fruit snacks, uuhh... anything else is pretty much interchangable, I like food

3. have you ever had a makeover?: not technically

4. what's the longest time you've stayed out of the country/where?: for a few hours when my family visited Canada;

6. one thing you're grateful for today: I got a brand new Doors shirt that absolutely rules

1. what time did you wake up in the morning?: I don't wake up in the morning; I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon

2. if you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?: I wouldn't want to eat in front of anyone, my dad once told me: 'I eat like Rodney Dangerfield looks' and he was right. I wouldn't want to frighten/disgust any famous person I like with my attrocious eating manner

3. gold or silver?: silver

4. what was the last film you saw at the cinema?: I think 'Spider Man'

5. your favorite tv show?: hmmm... I don't watch a lot of tv; but what I do watch I absolutely love: Cowboy Bebop/Law & Order/Dark Shadows/The Shield/Simpsons

6. what do you have for breakfast?: coffee

7. what would you hate to be left in a room with?: A wasp; I have a phobia

8. can you touch your nose with your tongue?: No

9. what inspires you?: J Mascis, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell, Joey Ramone, and Lemmy Kilmister

10. what's your middle name?: Anthony

11. beach, city, or country?: city

12. summer or winter?: winter, someplace where it actually snows

13. favorite ice cream?: I don't eat ice-cream

14. buttered, plain, or salted popcorn?: whatever the hell it was that the girl at Pet Smart did to it, that was delicious

15. favorite color?: Black

16. favorite car?: '69 Mustang, shiny black

17. favorite sandwich filling?: ham, cheese, and mayo

18. what characteristics do you despise?: ignorance, intolerance and arrogance

19. favorite flower?: Pansies

20. if you had a big win in the lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?: however long it took them to read my diary

21. fizzy or still water as a drink?:

meh, fizzy's tasty(somehow) but it's still just water either way

22. what color is your bathroom?: that off-white color they always paint the inside of houses

23. how many keys on your key ring?:

three; two for my car and one for my house

24. where would you retire to?: Seattle

25. can you juggle?: no, what the hell kind of question is that?

26. favorite day of the week?: Saturday

27. red or white wine?: I don't know the difference

28. what did you do for your last birthday?: waited in gigantic lines at "Nightfall" with Stephanie, and bought a pack of cigarettes('Would' by Alice in Chains was playing on the radio at the gas station when I bought my first pack of cigarettes; that's just fucking cool)

29. do you carry a donor card?: nope

last...

x movie you watched = crap, I can't remember

x movie you bought = 'Seven Doors of Death'

x song you listened to = 'No Woman, No Cry' by Bob Marley

x song that was stuck in your head = I don't remember

x song you've downloaded = 'Chains' by The Raveonettes

x cd you bought = The 'Get Me' Single from France by Dinosaur Jr

x cd you listened to= 'Bossanova' by The Pixies

x person you've called = Stephanie

x person that's called you = probably Stephanie,

x tv show you've watched = Futurama

x person you were thinking of = Robyn

do...

x you wish you could live somewhere else = God yes

x you think about suicide = yep

x others find you attractive = nope, not a single bit; they used to call me "girl repellant" in second grade back when girls were icky, and the damn name still applies

x you want more piercings = maybe my eyebrow or nose

x you want more tattoos = damn straight

x you drink = not really

x you do drugs = nope

x you like cleaning = no

x you like roller coasters = meh

x you write in cursive or print = print

for or against...

x suicide = for

x killing people = my dream career is Mafia Hit Man; what do you think?

x teenage smoking = I've bought cigarettes for teenagers, so I guess: "for"

x doing drugs = for

x premarital sex = for, but the only way I'm getting it is to pay for it...

x driving drunk = strongly against; if you're on anything, your ass has no business operating something as deadly as a car

x gay/lesbian relationships = I wish I could put some smart-ass comment here, but I can't; so: "for"

yay! another useless quiz taking up space in my useless diary

say, I just had an idea; do you guys(Robyn and/or Steph) want to get together on Valentine's day and rent that movie 'Valentine', and watch somebody else do what I'm probably gonna end up doing when I get older?

leave a note

Sweet Dreams

[note-I'm quite proud of the title of this entry for some reaons; it's a rip-off of a line from 'Die, Die, My Darling' by The Misfits. I think I'm gonna start writing that everywhere, and if I get to a certain age and am still alone; I'm gonna get it tattooed on myself]

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