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"Normal Like You" 2002-09-16 - 11:20 p.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj Today was interesting. Went to the doctor today, finally. This always happens, I get sick; then I don't get to the doctor until a week later, and then when he asks "what's wrong" I have to try and explain it like it's happening now. Fuck. This doctor says the same thing that both I and the last two doctors say: I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Now see, what's so important about that is: that it changed the check-up from a physical examination to a mental one. It was so funny. I went in complaining about my stomach and I ended up answering questions like: "do you feel others would be better off if you were dead?". Either way; I scored as very highly depressed on their little survey. Mainly it was the wording. If they had phrased several questions differently the results would have been different. Take the question I stated above, which was an actual question. I answered: No, never. But if they had phrased it: "do you feel you would be better off dead?" then I would've answered: yes, all the time. And I would've gotten the highest level of depression. I'd probably have to have my door open so my mom could watch and make sure I didn't commit suicide. Either way; they perscribed me one thing for my stomach, and some Zoloft for my depression, and scheduled me an appointment with their psychologist tomorrow. Hee hee. When they perscribed me the Zoloft they asked me if I was going to take it. I couldn't answer. One side of my brain was saying: "Do you want to hurt all the time? Do you want to keep having panic attacks[which I did have one last night, it wasn't the first but they have only just started]? Don't you want to be happy?" But the other side of my brain just kept singing the one line from "Normal Like You" by Everclear that goes:"Oh yeah, you just take your pill; and everything'll be allright". I couldn't decide which to listen to. But now I have. That Zoloft is gonna sit in the hall closet outside my room and will continue to sit there until my next panic attack; when I'm sure I'll swallow a bunch in my, well, panic. But ah, well. Not much else to say. Now I just have to decide wether or not to lie to the psychologist. So it is written, and so it shall come to pass. Quoth the Raven -Nevermore They said you called me maybe yesterday I don't even have the strength to pick up the phone Wouldn't even know me since you went away The prozac doesn't do it for me anymore You ought to take your medication everyday Be a good dog, live life in a wonderful way Tell me why you want to be blind I don't want to be normal like you I know now, everyday I get closer To the place inside where I can be normal too I heard those stupid people talk about you again I just have to laugh to keep from hurting bad Their simple minds just cannot seem to understand You are neurotic and depressed It doesn't mean that you're sad You walk around oblivious to everything You wear that party dress and black mascara Like you're queen for the day Tell me why you want to be blind I don't want to be normal like you I know now, everyday I get closer To the place inside where I can be normal too I will never be normal like you You walk around oblivious to everyone I see you walking slow and simple Underneath the big black sun Tell me why you want to be blind I don't want to be normal like you I know now, everyday I get closer To the place inside where I can be complacent Yes, I get closer To the place inside where I can be sedated Yes, I get closer To the place inside where I can be normal too Where I can be normal like you Maybe normal like you I can be normal like you -Normal Like You Everclear � � |