"Day and Night" 2018-03-09 - 4:02 a.m.

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Everyone only cares about what they want,

My parents: we want a son we can be proud of

my girlfriend: I want that dick and kids

My friends: we want a drinking buddy

But if I did what I wanted, they’d all hate my guts

I can’t even picture myself as a guy anymore

Everytime I see my reflection or even my fucking shadow it bums me out

I’m trying to think of reasons to tell my girlfriend I don’t enjoy sex

But I just went down on her tonight and it felt so much better than the alternative

Please God take me out of this torment.

Make me a woman or make me happy as a man.

Don’t keep me this way.

I don’t have the money to transition.

The only time I’m happy is when I’m pretending tobe a girl online or in video games.

Why is this my life?

What did I ever do to anyone?

Spending the rest of my life as a man feels like sacrificing myself,

The same as jumping in front of a bullet for EVERYONE I KNOW.

Why is it like this?

I didn’t ask for this

Remember me fondly,

Brittany,

The Girl Who Never Was

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