"Vale Deah" 2009-09-10 - 5:01 a.m.

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Once upon a time I knew a girl who dated an ex-skinhead drug addict with anger issues. And she married him. It took her two years before she divorced him.

Once upon a time I knew a girl who dated a guy who cheated on her. And she cheated on him, and she thought it was even until she realized it didn't work that way.

Once upon a time I knew a girl who dated a guy who beat her, and me and a friend of mine held his ass down and pulled her out of there like the fucking Marines pulling out of a hot evac point. But she went back to him.

Once upon a time, very recently in fact, I knew a girl who dated a guy much older than her who'd been arrested for domestic violence and had a few kids. And when she broke up with him he gave her number to a married friend of his who was looking for some fun.

Meanwhile I know at least three friends who are great guys, that would never cheat on a girl; or beat her, or treat her wrong that are all single.

And I've been single pretty much forever; and my deep-seated emotional issues aren't apparent until you really get to know me.

But we're all still single.

sweet dreams