"Sacrifice vs. Apathy" 2004-01-28 - 2:54 a.m.

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we must be on the same wavelength

I'm just so tired tonight

tired of being in the same situation I've been in for years

tired of hunting for jobs that just aren't there

tired of feeling like a failure/embarassment to my parents

tired of having a car that, although it's one tough bastard, always feels like it's on the brink of breaking down

tired of only seeing my friends when everyone gets together

tired of questioning my sexuality to the point where it feels like I'm doing it for fun

tired of being alone

Tired Of Spending These Lonely Nights, Training Myself Not To Care

I suppose I should be thankful that I'm in a band

and really, I guess I am

I couldn't ask for a better situation, really

but right now we're in the hardest part of the band-process

getting started and not really having any of our own songs

so I'm thankful; but I'm still tired

at least we have a name, though

we're officially "The Remaining"

thanks to Secretshame for being the one person who voted

[I'd link but her diary's locked anyway]

the rest of you miserable bastards can fuck off

[ha, like anyone reads my diary anyway]

I miss Sindy really bad

but it feels like just leaving her a note or talking to her would lead to a situation that would leave me torn apart inside and hating myself

moreso than usual

I'm just so tired of everything

and I know; I will never get what I want

and it's nobody's fault but mine

Sweet Dreams

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