"Fucking Hostile pt. 2" 2002-07-04 - 12:57 a.m.

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I just have to add something to my 'fucking hostile' entry:

why in the hell would anyone take the time to post that note seriously? I mean, if it's a joke I understand it, but I don't think I know anyone that stupid. The only thing I can think of is it's some online moron that doesn't know what they're talking about. I admit it did kind of amuse me at first, but now it's just bothering me as to why anyone would take the time to post something like that. I mean, except for that crosswalk thing in the one entry I've never once threatened Evan. And seriously, he never mentioned once that he wasn't enjoying himself or anything to that nature, then he just says he's quitting the band and all that shit. I spent the next few days trying to talk to him, the only thing I wanted to do was work things out, but he didn't want to. As I said in one of my entries, I was trying harder to not hate him than I was to stop being depressed. But then he says 'he's not changing his mind' and he doesn't want to talk to me. So in my humble opinion, just leaving and taking large chunks of my life I enjoyed with him without any warning, telling me he's stopped enjoying the company of me and a friend of mine without giving us a chance to change is worthy of anger. So the only reason I can think of that some anonymous person would have to threaten me, is if they didn't know what they were talking about. And making threats in a situation you don't know anything about is pretty f'ing stupid if you ask me. And I think the whole 'blame yourself' thing was actually funnier than the 'suck a dick' thing, which is just plain unoriginal and not really an insult to me. I am all bisexual and stuff, but that's beside the point. The point is: Evan never gave me a reason to blame myself, he never gave me anything he blamed me for, he just left. If you were really close to someone, and thought everything was peachy, and then suddenly they just left without telling you anything was wrong, wouldn't you be angry? So before you open your mouth, make sure you know what you're talking about. And now I've devoted 2 entries to something as stupid as that. Shows how much is going on in my life. Hell, the truth is, despite what I said in 'Eulogy' and 'Good Riddance' I still want to work things out. I miss Evan a lot. I just wish none of this bullshit had ever happened. So whoever the brainiac is behind "fucku-bitch" read your own name.

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