"Falling Away From Me" 2002-07-03 - 11:37 p.m.

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Has anybody seen my life? I think I lost it. Man, things were going so great for me, but it all fell apart. I was in a band, had two really close friends I enjoyed hanging out with, was working on a comic, and everything was looking up. Then one of my friends leaves, without giving any reason why, screws over my band; I lost interest in my comic, I haven't seen or talked to my other friend in days, and everything that made my life seem to be 'looking up' is missing. Damnit. If Stephanie wanted to see me she'd have contacted me. And Evan's the one screwing our friendship, he's the one who doesn't want to talk and won't change his mind. So excuse me if I'm angry about it. If anyone has a good reason that he's doing this, please tell me, he sure as hell didn't. Fuck, for a while I was having thoughts of just withdrawing, like Evan, just tell Steph I can't be her friend and go back to the way things used to be before I met any of them. But over the last few days of sitting in my room alone that's out. I've only been away from Stephanie for a few days, and I already miss her like she moved or something. And despite how angry I might get sometimes, I really miss Evan, just as a friend. I'm not gonna lie and say I don't miss playing in a band, but I just plain miss hanging out with him. He's the one who's fucking refusing to talk about anything. Ah well, in the words of KoRn: "I can always say, 'it's gonna be better tomorrow'." I just hope I'm right.