|
"Thursday" 2005-02-06 - 3:51 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj so I guess I didn't waste the whole week it was kinda like saying: "I'm not going to waste this week" and then going to bed on sunday then waking up on thursday thursday was the day I finally started waking up earlier and doing stuff the only place I've actually applied so far[and one of the few places actually hiring] was Borders the good news is: Gabe from Versus The Mirror works there and while I don't really know Gabe and haven't really talked to him I do know Kevin, and that's good enough speaking of Kevin I went in on Thursday and he wasn't there; but Davey was, so I got his number off of him finally gave him a call today; left him a message because he was at work and he actually called me back on his break! I can't get Stephanie to call me back at all when she doesn't answer Kevin called me back later that day if there was any doubt in my mind about him being my friend, it's gone so that felt really good and speaking of Stephanie I went to another one of her drag shows tonight I went to pick up Robyn, but 2/3 of the way there, she felt too sick and I had to take her home which isn't her fault at all but the sad part is that the [around an]hour I spent driving her around was probably the most fun I had all night I got there late, watched the performances and then afterwords... said "hi" to a few people and then we went to IHOP and... I don't know why I even went there were 14 people there and maybe 5 of them I knew and of those 5, only about 2 are people I talk to those 2 sat far from me, and talked to everybody else there I ordered a coffee, and ended up leaving before it got there because I was just sitting there, not talking to anyone and just feeling like shit about it why fucking bother? if feeling alone in a crowd is the stinging pain of loneliness; then feeling alone in a crowd of friends is the stomach flu of loneliness why subject myself to that? I just fucking left as I was leaving Stephanie invited me to go see our friend Carlos' band on Valentine's Day with her I probably will but it just reminds me of my band's song Thursday [which I wrote about Stephanie over a year ago, actually] we're not really friends anymore, but we'll keep acting like we are because... like the ghost of a friendship one that doesn't realize it's dead yet I kinda like that, actually I talked to Chris for maybe a minute tonight which was more than I talked to Stephanie the whole time I was there tomorrow I'm going to e-mail Chris and try and start something with him again I don't know hopefully tomorrow Ruben will have found a drummer for us to meet with we'll see Sweet Dreams � � |