"I'm Gonna Be" 2016-04-01 - 5:27 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

So get this:

G___ texted me last night.

We didn't talk, she just gave me a little update on her life; and it's not that weird, we usually wind up talking a bit or something every few months.

But what are the odds, that last night; while having an existential crisis that she was central to;

that that's the night she decides to break the silence and text me?

I mean, I don't think she reads this; and it's not like she actually talked to me anyway.

But what a fucking coincidence.

I try (and generally fail) not to read too much into things, but at a moment when I'm freaking out about my life, and about her, and asking for a sign; she suddenly texts me after months of avoiding each other.

I mean, is it safe to ascribe meaning to that?

Is that just one big damn coincidence?

Buh. I mean, it was just a text, and we didn't even go back and forth but... Man, I mean for real what are the odds?

It probably doesn't mean anything. We're all just slowly being digested by an uncaring universe, after all. And it's not like it changes anything in my day to day life.

It doesn't even help with the issue I was stressing out about last night.

[just click "previous" if you actually read this stupid thing and missed my post last night]

But... even if it's meaningless it gave me hope. At least for a night, for a day, for a few hours.

Even if it's false hope anything that keeps me from putting my gun in my mouth for that much longer is always appreciated.

And who knows? Maybe just this once there's light at the end of this particular tunnel.

Ah fuck it, who am I shittin'?

�

�