"Between The Bars" 2014-09-14 - 2:45 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

I'm really confused right now.

in a lot of ways I feel like G___ is the love of my life,

and I should wait

and it doesn't matter, I should wait, because she's worth it

but I keep getting mixed signals from her

sometimes I feel like she feels the same way

and sometimes I feel like she doesn't

I don't know

I guess if she had a diary she'd be saying the same thing

"sometimes I feel like he's the one

sometimes I feel like he's not"

and I don't know what to do

it was pretty easy when I figured there wouldn't be anyone else for a long time

but the more time I spend with K_____,

the more I feel like I'm falling for her

and,

I doubt K_____'s the one

I recognize that marrying her is a possibility

but it doesn't seem likely

shit, I don't even know if she thinks of me as anything more than a friend

but I'm confused

because I'm in love with G____

and I want to wait for her

but part of me is saying "this isn't going anywhere, she's never gonna leave him" and falling for K_____

and I just don't know

I've never been the kinda person who can just wait and see what happens

I have to do everything I can to be in control

control is very important to me

and so, I don't know who I should be chasing, basically

I had an idea recently, that I'd chase both, and just see which one I "caught" first

but it's against my nature

I have to have a clear objective

and... I just don't know

maybe G____ really is the one

and if I give up on her...

but maybe it's a waste of time

and if I blow off K_____ waiting for her

and get nothing

fuck man,

I don't know

I hate this shit

I wish I was really as emotionless as I pretend to be

blah blah blah

who gives a shit?

probably neither of them want me anyway

�

�