"Drama Queen" 2010-12-11 - 4:40 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

Here's why I hate horoscopes:

two of them said "stay out of people's way, there's some shit gonna go down".

basically.

Neither of them said: "things are gonna seem great until someone you care about has some really rough shit thrown at them."

All my lame, depressed bullshit seems so irrelevant now, even in my own diary.

I guess if anything I could say:

I'm trying really hard not to fall for this girl, she lives in a different country; there is absolutely no reason I should think anything will ever happen between us.

Yet it doesn't change the fact that I seem to care about her more every time I talk to her.

On one hand I always seem to create these situations;

on the other hand, how do you tell the difference?

How do you tell if the feelings you have for someone are something you should fight for, and change your life for;

or if they're just a temporary thing and you should ignore them because they'll only make things worse?

I guess I managed to make my way back to it anyway, even though I just feel worse about it.

But if I'm the asshole who makes things worse than they have to be, then it's easy.

I drink, and smoke, and push people away; until I die alone.

If I'm a good person who just never fought for it, and never made the difference I could have;

then who do I take out my aggression on?

I guess I get to hate myself either way, so hey, win/win, right?

�

�