"Gran Torino And The Struck Nerve" 2009-09-20 - 2:46 a.m.

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As the title would imply, I watched Gran Torino tonight; and it struck a very deep chord for me.

In particular, the scene where Walt takes Tao to the barber shop.

Walt takes Tao into the barber shop, and gives him an example of how guys talk to eachother. Then he tells him to go outside, come back in, and talk to the barber like A Man.

Tao comes in talking shit, and the barber pulls a gun on him. Then Walt and the Barber laugh, explain what Tao did wrong, and then tell him how to do it right.

The big contrast, the big chord Gran Torino strikes is: My dad never explained things to me. It would be as if he told me: "I'll go in there, then you go in a minute later and talk to him like A Man." with no further explanation. And then when I went in and talked shit, he apologized to the barber and dragged me outside berating me for doing it wrong.

And it's not his fault really. I wrote up a much longer entry explaining why, but I'll save it.

I just wish I had someone who could've shown me the ropes like that. And it's actually the main draw of being A Marine. I don't think I need to explain that, I mean, no one's reading anyway.

But the final note is: I've always hoped to strike that balance by being Hank Moody:

Being a "Real Man" while at the same time balancing depression/self-esteem issues and being a creative-type.

But I can't seem to pull it off on my own. And I can't seem to write either. Musically or prose. So maybe The Marines are my only option.

But no one else seems to understand.