|
"Lithium" 2005-07-28 - 2:32 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj I know I said I was going to close this thing; but when the hell have I ever followed through on anything I've ever said? I've been in the grips of one of the worst depressions I've had in quite some time. If I didn't have work everyday, I probably wouldn't leave the house, change my clothes, or brush my teeth. Or probably even get out of bed. I don't know, nothing just seems worth it anymore. It's probably because Gabby quit the band. If I had to pick a cause I'd say that's probably it. As much as I like Chicho; he's a cool guy and a good bass player; I'm just not as excited about playing in a band with him. When it was me and Gabby, it really felt special, I was excited to go to practice. But not anymore. And it could just be I don't want to go through the ordeal of finding new musicians; but I don't know. Like I said, nothing seems worth it anymore. Changing my clothes; shaving; showering. I'm falling back into my grunge days. I even listened to Soundgarden last night for the first time in months. But all kidding aside, I just don't know anymore. I know that if I did get up, wash my clothes, shave, shower, and went out and hung out with my friends or went to band practice; I'd probably feel a whole lot better. But I just can't. I've grown too apathetic to even be theatric about my depression anymore. This sucks. My bank account's overdrawn. And I think I saw pus in my urine this morning; which is awesome. I guess I'll be giving Chris a call in the near future; once I get back from the doctor. That jerk. This entry is pointless. � � |