"Lithium" 2005-07-28 - 2:32 a.m.

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I know I said I was going to close this thing; but when the hell have I ever followed through on anything I've ever said?

I've been in the grips of one of the worst depressions I've had in quite some time.

If I didn't have work everyday, I probably wouldn't leave the house, change my clothes, or brush my teeth. Or probably even get out of bed.

I don't know, nothing just seems worth it anymore.

It's probably because Gabby quit the band. If I had to pick a cause I'd say that's probably it.

As much as I like Chicho; he's a cool guy and a good bass player; I'm just not as excited about playing in a band with him.

When it was me and Gabby, it really felt special, I was excited to go to practice.

But not anymore.

And it could just be I don't want to go through the ordeal of finding new musicians; but I don't know.

Like I said, nothing seems worth it anymore.

Changing my clothes; shaving; showering. I'm falling back into my grunge days.

I even listened to Soundgarden last night for the first time in months.

But all kidding aside, I just don't know anymore.

I know that if I did get up, wash my clothes, shave, shower, and went out and hung out with my friends or went to band practice; I'd probably feel a whole lot better. But I just can't.

I've grown too apathetic to even be theatric about my depression anymore.

This sucks.

My bank account's overdrawn.

And I think I saw pus in my urine this morning; which is awesome.

I guess I'll be giving Chris a call in the near future; once I get back from the doctor.

That jerk.

This entry is pointless.