"Sixteen Military Wives" 2005-04-04 - 6:32 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

****disclaimer** - I am tired, so this entry will be kind of choppy and mildly nonsensical ****

so yeah, saturday night I went out to a drag show with my friends

IHOP afterwords was hilarious

Andru started talking about this girl he used to date and how she always told racist jokes, so he starts telling one, and it went like this:

Andru: "so this gay guy finds this lamp right, and he rubs it and a genie pops out; but the genie doesn't like gay people"

Mariah: "I thought you said it was a racist joke"

Andru: "I'm not finished yet"

Brett: *dies laughing*

Andru: "so the gay guys makes his wish and skips home, and later on he hears a knock at his door, so he answers it and there's a bunch of KKK guys out there burning a cross; and one of them says: 'are you the guy who wanted to be hung like a nigger?'"

oh my God

I love racist jokes

God only knows why

I guess I just love humor you can laugh at rather than with, if that makes sense

but yeah, so that amused me immensely

then afterwords I went out with Chris again

and that's the second time in a row we kinda hung out in a way that could've been a date

but at the same time wasn't really

like, I like him

and he knows I like him

but I don't know if he likes me

and he hasn't made a move on me

and I'm too fucking shy/insecure to make a move on him

so like, I don't know

we maybe have gone on two dates already; which would techincally mean we're dating

but on the other hand we could just be hanging out

it's frustrating

and like, all I want to do is make a move on him

we were walking together through the Funtastics golf course and I just screaming at myself: "Hold his hand! Hold his hand! REACH OUT AND HOLD HIS FUCKING HAND!!"

but of course I couldn't

and when I drop him off at his house I always pray he'll lean over and try and kiss me

because God knows I could never actually try and kiss him

damnit

this is annoying

how come I'm stuck acting like a junior high-schooler?

and I just know that if I could be in one relationship then I wouldn't have so much trouble starting others

or at least I hope it'll work that way

but of course I'm too scared and I don't know if Chris is even interested

gah

in somewhat related news,

I've decided that I am going to do drag

if all goes according to plan I should be doing it at the next show

like, I've wanted to do it for a long, long time

and I finally decided that I want to try it at least once

and if I don't do it now I'll just keep putting it off and putting it off

so I have decided to try it

at first I was a little unsure whether I could do it, just because I didn't know if would be able to afford the new clothes

but I was talking to Gabby about it; and she said she could make me some clothes

so I guess I'm in

that should be interesting

anyway, now it's time for me to pass out

Sweet Dreams

�

�