"Smoke It To The Rope" 2005-03-31 - 6:12 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

the other night I went bowling with my friends

it was fun until I started taking the game too seriously and sat off by myself to chain smoke so I wouldn't bring their mood down

but the night was saved by our team game at the end

where I teamed up with Austin to form the unstoppable juggernaut known as Braustin; which proceeded to lay waste to the other teams in a fashion that could only be referred to as "biblical"

and you know what's hot? bowling with a cigarette in your mouth

I absolutely love the fact that I'm like, The Smoker of our group

even though I'm not the only one who smokes, it has come to be my trademark[of a sort]; and for some reason that makes me really happy

as you can tell, despite some minor setbacks my good mood continues

for one I finally worked up the courage to e-mail Chris back

and it turns out he just kinda forgot to reply to my last e-mail, so I got all worked up and worried for nothing

which is the complete opposite of normal, of course

plus I kinda told him I wanted to date him; so we might be having our first date after the drag show this saturday

wish me luck

now onto our main story:

for the past few weeks I've been borrowing my sister's car to use on my paper route

because my van just plain can't hack it

and of course, she's a childish, immature, selfish, possessive bitch

which has made the past few weeks a royal pain in the ass

well, she always claims she's so mean to me because I'm mean to her; but I'm only mean to her because she's a bitch

so I decided "fuck it, I'll be the bigger man, I'll be nice to her; I'll take away her excuse, and then we'll see what happens"

so I've been nothing but nice to her for the past two weeks

and surprise, she's still a bitch

now, she doesn't like me smoking in her car

so I bought some air freshener that I sprayed in the car after my route, and everything was fine for a while

so tonight she leaves me this note saying: 'don't smoke in my car or don't use it'[or something to that effect]; "choose wisely"

which just broke the fucking camel's back

and I spent my whole route tonight trying to decide what to do

until at the end I finally decided "fuck it" rolled up the windows, and smoked harder than I'd ever smoked before

tastiest cigarette I've had all fucking week

I even put the cigarette out early before I got home

because nothing smells worse than an extinguished cigarette in an enclosed space

I left the key out on the counter with a note reminding her to choke on it

and Goddamn did it ever feel liberating

the only thing that's going to be more liberating is when she tries to yell at me about it later and I can just go off on her with all the things I've been biting my tongue on these past few weeks

life is good

there will be consequences

but I'll deal

as proud as I am of my femininity

consequences are an area where I'm very proud to Take It Like A Man

especially in this case

now if you'll excuse me,

I'm going to put on some soothing music and drift off to sleep to visions of my sister getting in her car and taking a nice deep whiff of second hand smoke

I Hope Your Dreams Will Be As Sweet As Mine

�

�