"Junkie's Promise" 2005-01-07 - 2:13 a.m.

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you know, everytime I see those Garden State commercials, I just want to post my last entry again

because it just gets more and more true

one day I'm gonna be watching tv with my family and that commercial will come on and I'll just start to cry, and I won't be able to explain to them why

I've had the stomach flu the past few days

I'm feeling better now, but man, tuesday night was wild

and I mean that in the worst way

I just hope it doesn't come back

I can't even imagine doing that again

anyway

I've realized that I can never go to Brittain

because I would just be falling head-over-heels for every British gay guy I ran across

I just think the way they talk is so adorable

but despite what I may have said in mock-anger,

I guess I really am bi and I should just shut up about it

but that brings me to another point that's been making me laugh recently:

sometimes I get pissed at my parents, and speak ill of them in here

and the more I think about it, the less I think of their parenting skills;

but really, they got what they deserved when it came to kids

my dad was kind of a jock growing up, and I'm sure, hell, I know that he wanted a strong jock kid who would go out for sports and be into racing and be a real ladies' man

[and my mom probably wanted the same]

and instead he got me

a skinny, pale, faggy musician who paints his nails black and shaves his body hair

and my sister's not any better

it makes me laugh when I think about it

she wears work-boots and flannel shirts but not makeup

she wears jeans and t-shirts but never a skirt or jewelry

for a long time I thought she was a lesbian

I'm still not entirely sure

it just makes me laugh that my parents could produce such a pair

makes me feel a little more smug about the way they treat me sometimes

I don't know

hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow, and life will continue on as normal

Adios Amigos

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