"Look What You've Done" 2004-12-13 - 3:49 a.m.

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tonight we auditioned a few singers for the band

the first was this guy Monte

he was.. alright

he was a friendly guy, and I liked that

but he was also a "Krazy Kristian"

which to be honest didn't really bother me

but the fact that we weren't bothered him

so he won't be joining The Remaining anytime soon

but..

it was too funny

he came in to sing

and..

he sounded exactly like Scott Stapp

I don't think it was intentional

but..

that's just too funny to make up

of all the people this guy could sound like,

he has to sound like Scott Stapp

that's funny

but Scott Stapp sounds like crap and so does he; and that was more important to me than whatever his problem was

so whatever

[dude: ERIC FUCKING ROBERTS is in the new Killers video; fucking rock]

the second guy was cool

he was kinda goth though

which was cool with me

real cool with me

but I don't know about those guys

they liked him tonight

but I think in the long run they would change their minds

because he sang exactly like Ville Valo

his voice wasn't as deep, but the way he sang was a lot like that

we asked him to sing a song for us so we could hear his voice

and he turns to me and goes: "do you know HIM's version of Wicked Game?"

and my face just lit up

sadly, I didn't

but he did

so he played it and sang

and I loved it

and then he put down the guitar and sang Atrocity Exhibition by Joy Division

which sounded awesome the way he sang it, too

so I mean, I loved him

and Ruben and Gabby liked him too

but it pisses me off

because: the main fucking problem we had is that I wanted to be darker and that I sing low and dark like that; and they didn't like it

but then this kid comes in and sings even darker than I do

and they fucking love it

it only bothered me a little at the time

but now I'm starting to get pissed

anyway

the problem is: he's 16

and he lives on the air force base

and they have a curfew at 10

so he can't really get out and to practice

he's going to try and figure something out, but.. who knows?

I don't

so it looks like I'm stuck singing for a little while longer anyway

it just bugs me

I see and hear all these bands

and I talk to Kevin

and I just want to be in a band that I really like; where I get along with the other members

not what The Remaining has become

I was ashamed playing our songs for the second guy

and the only times Ruben and I even talked tonight we were yelling at eachother

and Gabby..

I get along well with Gabby, but I just wish we could agree on the type of music to play more

(and that she was more talented)

I don't know

it's like eating shitty food

at least I'm not starving

but I'd rather be having something good

it just hurts sometimes

I love music so much

and I'm not doing it the way I want

I don't know

I'm just gonna go to bed

Sweet Dreams