"Death Trip" 2004-10-30 - 4:51 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

ugh, my life is such a mess

my mom decided she's sick of me getting everything I want

[!]

so she talked my dad out of helping me buy a new car

and I can do it by myself, but it's going to take longer; which means I need to get my van working

so now he's going to try and fix my haggard-ass van and see if he can bring it back from the dead

all day he's been telling me he worked on the brakes and got them working

I haven't tested them yet, but I doubt it

so if my updates just suddenly stop it's because my mom doesn't like the fact that I was going to get a new car before I got a proper job

but whatever

and in other news, I brought up my doubts about my singing to the band; and now we're having a big fight about whether I should keep singing

we recorded my voice at the practice room, and now I feel that I can sing

but they confessed they've never liked my voice, and want a new singer

gah

see; I've got a very low, [I don't wanna say monotone, but.. it's a style that doesn't change pitch a lot, if that makes sense] Ville Valo, Pete Steele, Ian Curtis, Carlos D style voice

and I like that

but they don't

and not only does that piss me off for obvious reasons

but it pisses me off because I've always had a pretty good idea of what the band should sound like

and while it's obviously not exactly what I want; and obviously compromises have to be made

all I want is to be in a dark band

and Ruben and Gabby have been progressively lightening the style and making it more pop-ish for some time

and my voice has been one of the main things keeping a dark feel to the sound

but now if we get a new singer, they're going to get somebody who'll make the sound more like what they want

and it just pisses me off

we're called The Remaining

our logo is a fucking guy in a fucking cemetary

we dress mostly in black

and they want to sound like fucking Elefant or The Moving Units or "something people can dance to"

fuck that

I'm definitely going to have to find people with tastes closer to mine(if not outright Trent Reznor the whole deal) next time

and there will be a next time

gah

all this crap with the band is making me realize that I really need to start doing something with my life

something serious

but like I know what the fuck I want to do

I don't know

either things will work out or I'll die in a horrible car wreck and not have to worry about this shit anymore

Adios Amigos

�

�