"My Band" 2004-09-09 - 4:51 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

Finally got ahold of The Room today

I had to wake up at 11 or something to get it; which is pretty early for me

well I didn't have to; but EB actually called me, and hell if I was going back to sleep knowing that I had a copy of it waiting for me

I'll talk about it more tomorrow; I'm pretty tired today

anyway;

I use this site for the serious side of things, so here we go:

I'm thinking of quitting the band

again

Ruben is the biggest idiot I know

I can barely even stand him anymore

originally I thought it would be good to have a band with different tastes

with Gabby and Ruben into straight-up punk and me into alternative; it would force us to create a balance

and from that balance would come a new sound; which would hopefully sound good

but lately all we do is argue

Gabby doesn't say much

but Ruben is constantly bitching about how the songs need to be shorter and more simplistic

and even though I'm trying to create the balance; all I want to do is play darker, more artistic stuff

it's really pissing me off

and lately I've been thinking about the talent differential

I mean; I hate to say this kinda stuff

but I can say with no ego that I am more talented than both of them

especially Ruben

I'm worried that it's going to hold me back

I hate talking like that

I feel like such a cocky prick

but it's a fact that they are less talented than me; and it's a legitimate concern of mine

I don't know

and now Ruben's saying that we should re-hire Sara

I don't even want to get into it

but he's such a fucking idiot

he's like a little fucking kid

and he just fucking loves to start shit in the band

he can't perform and he can't play

and all he does is bitch about how he wants the band to sound

fuck

I don't know

on one hand: that's a nice practice room; and I don't have a PA, so it would suck to lose those two things

but it would suck more to get this far in a band and not play any gigs

this is the third band I've been in; and I still haven't played an actual gig

I've played some shows

[I consider the difference to be: a show is something put on by the band, with just friends of the band/s in attendance; whereas a gig is where the band is hired to play in an actual club or bar]

but no gigs

and I'd hate to be in this band for 8 months; write a whole original set; and get a demo recorded only to quit when we're right on the verge of playing gigs

and the more far-reaching implications:

the band is the only thing keeping me in Tucson right now

if the band breaks up; I'm free to leave

and I definitely want to

but where do I go?

now that I've decided to forego college; there's no reason for me to go anywhere else

other than just a place with a good music scene

plus there's the fact that I really have no money

I could sell the rest of the stock my grandfather bought me; which would probably give me enough money to actually move

but I would need to get a serious job as soon as I got there

and with my luck at getting jobs that's not an acceptable risk

I don't know

in all likelyhood; if I want to move then it's going to require several months of preparation; which would start when I get another job

which in turn would probably take at least two weeks from when I decided I wanted to move

and if I quit The Remaining; I'm going to want to play in another band, but I don't want to start another band in Tucson

which is just another problem

I don't know

I suppose the smartest course of action would be:

stay in the band as long as I can, play as many gigs as possible

all the while intending to quit and move, and preparing the rest of my life to do so

with the variables of course being:

How long can I physically stand to coexist with Ruben?

vs.

The possibility that this turns around, like it usually does; and I decide to stick with the band indefinitely.

it's all such a big pain in the ass

I need to grow up

I make everything a pain in the ass and I need to fucking stop

now let's just see if I can keep up with my plan

everybody cross your fingers

Sweet Dreams

�

�