"Can't Even Tell" 2004-08-21 - 5:58 a.m.

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I went to work yesterday from 11:30 to 4:30; and I've never ever seen anything as dead as the store before noon

I mean; it seems more lively after closing

seriously

I walked in and it was just Kevin, standing there by himself, no customers

there weren't really any customers until around 1 or so

it was creepy

just like, one or two people who wandered in but didn't buy anything

on one hand it was nice to not really have to do anything

but time goes much faster when you're helping customers and doing stuff

after that I went straight from work to see Alien Vs. Predator with my cousins

[I wrote up a full review here]

one of my cousins who moved to LA is back in town

it was funny to see him, since he grew his hair out[it's just a little bit shorter than mine is now] and grew a goatee; so I got in a few jokes about him ripping off my style

heh heh

it was pretty cool to see him again

after the movie we went back to my cousin's house and we all played a really good game of Red Faction 2

**DISCLAIMER**this next part is included as a confession. It's here to get it off my chest, not because I'm proud of it or anything. In fact, you may want to skip to the other asterisks **

one thing, though;

his girlfriend came back with him,

and... she put on a little weight;

only like 15 lbs. or so; but I couldn't keep my eyes off of her

I felt like such a pig

I'm not enough of a savage to just openly stare at her

but whenever nobody was looking at me, my eyes went straight back to her

it was not my finest moment

*ahem*

*****

in other news,

Stephanie has been trying to contact me again

first there was that call I mentioned an entry or two ago;

then she sent me an e-mail telling me she's going to call me

at first I couldn't figure out why she was suddenly so interested in me again

[trust me, for Stephanie, that counts as pretty interested]

then I realized:

all her real friends that had plans for after high school are taking off

going to college and whatnot

and so now she's got to fall back on good old me

with no plans or direction whatsoever

to be honest I don't know what to do

I mean, I'm too nice to just outright say: "fuck you; you're a shitty friend"

but... she was

I'll bet money she still is

and so I don't know if I want to start working on a friendship again when I'm still kinda pissed about last time

I mean; I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't the best friend to her either

the friendship we had was the catalyst for a lot of things inside me to either come out or change(or both)

and she was target numero uno for the worst of what that meant

but just because we both sinned doesn't absolve her

and since I'm too nice to say anything to her face

[she doesn't read this; she stopped after a misunderstanding over some stuff I wrote]

all I really want to know is if I should say something nicely

or just kinda make a cold pretense until she takes the hint and seeks friendship elsewhere

I don't know

we did have some good times together

I suppose it's possible this could be the second chance to start fresh I was always hoping for back in the day

where our friendship could really rekindle and we'll go back to the good times

but the first time around she just up and stopped trying when she decided she could have more fun elsewhere

and this time around I'd have to live with knowing she's only spending time with me because the people she wanted to spend time with moved away to college

I don't know

I've lived with worse

I could just not put so much into it

go into it the same way I went into seeing Alien Vs. Predator

[to use a recent example]

I don't know

going on now would be going around in circles

[the entry; not the other thing]

I guess I'll just make it up as I go

same as everything else

that is; if she actually calls

given her track record that's unlikely

but stranger things have happened

my aunt & uncle "adopted"[or whatever] a foreign exchange student from Germany

[more on that when I actually have something to say about it]

and yesterday I saw a rhino give birth to a monkey

Adios Amigos