"Heliotropic" 2004-08-02 - 3:48 a.m.

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*Note-* I think my e-mail's been broken, so if you've tried to send me any e-mails between saturday night and sometime this morning; it probably didn't get through. Please try again*

I feel... odd tonight

first we had band practice; then we went and saw a couple bands at this club really close to the practice room

they were ok

but I've learned once again that we really shouldn't spend too much time together as a band

Ruben needs to be taken in small doses

by the end of the night I was just like: "yeah, whatever, I'm getting the fuck out of here"

not really pissed; but just ready to go

Gabby, on the other hand;

she got so pissed I'm a little nervous she might quit the band

I'm not sure if she was pissed at both of us or just Ruben, but I can't really remember saying anything to piss her off; and I can remember Ruben saying a lot of things

I don't know

some days he seems really cool

others he's just a complete douchebag

I suppose everyone's like that, really

but Ruben seems to have a lot more douchebag days than everyone else

whatever

I've got work again tomorrow

*shock and awe*

I suppose I want more hours

but I've grown accustomed to just sitting around doing nothing; and I want a day to just sit back and relax

the only day I really have this week is wednesday

and that's got the aforementioned Jill situation; so who knows?

it's probably better that I don't get a day to just sit around and waste my life

since that's bad

but I've gotten used to it; and so I'm going to bitch about it

not all my entries can be about exciting goings-on or deep, dramatic unrequieted feelings of love

I've done a pretty good job of just burying my head in the sand from that for the past few days

because I know there's not a damn thing I can do to lessen that in anyway; so I'm just taking the coward's way out and hiding from it

but I know eventually I'm going to have to face it again, and it's going to hurt just as much

which sucks

*sigh*

things probably aren't as dramatic as I make them out to be

like if a normal person were in this sitaution they could deal with it easily

but you know me...

I should get to bed

all this melodramatic whining is wearing me out

somebody fucking kill me

Sweet Dreams

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