"Join Me In Death" 2004-06-28 - 2:30 a.m.

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not a whole lot to say tonight

just a few interesting notes

mostly about the band

it's kinda funny

when we started out, the idea was to be a punk band

then, when we combined the two bands; we got really pop-y

to the point of not really being able to be called punk

but I wasn't gonna put up with that

I turned that around in a hurry

and now, I've pushed us to the opposite side of the scale

now our songs are so hard we can hardly be called punk

I'm more than a little proud of that

but now, Ruben is saying maybe I can sing some of the songs again

on the condition that I sing higher

I don't know what to say really

on one hand, looking at things objectively; it is better if we just have one lead singer

and secondly, I don't really sing high that well

I have a low voice; and sing as such

I have to manipulate my vocal chords to sing high, and that starts to hurt after a few songs

but on the other hand, I may just have to get used to it; and it may not hurt after a while

and I really want to sing

I don't know

on my way to practice I was considering joining another band just as the singer

I don't know

I'm thinking that if I don't get the job at Hot Topic I might seriously get the hell out of here

band or no

to quote Tom Petty:

"I'm tired of screwing up, I'm tired of goin' down, I'm tired of myself, I'm tired of this town"

I'll get a student loan and live in the dorm; and just find a job there

who knows where I'll go, though

Seattle, New York

maybe somewhere a little smaller to start with

London would kick ass, though

I don't think I'd go over seas to begin with, that would be a bit much

but hopefully I'll get the job

I guess tomorrow I'm going to find out if I get a second interview or not

it's a little nerve-wracking

(if I spelled that correctly)

I don't know

I was never good with big decisions

but I should make one soon

wether or not I get this important position at the mall is as good a catalyst as any to finally get off my ass

I guess I'll find out tomorrow

Sweet Dreams