"Temporarily Blind" 2004-04-03 - 2:37 a.m.

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sometimes I just get so tired of having nothing

I didn't leave the house all day today

that's not really anything new

but it's always a little depressing to think about

I don't like to call my friends because it always feels like I'm imposing

inviting myself over when they don't really want to see me

if they wanted to see me; they would call

but they never do

I try to tell myself that that's just the low self-esteem talking

and that they're my friends and they're probably thinking that I have a reason for not calling; so I should call them

but I don't

and the other stuff I've said a thousand times before

I don't know

it's getting harder to write in this diary even,

because I have nothing to say

I don't do anything

and I just keep thinking about the same stuff over and over

it would be depressing if it wasn't so fucking repetetive

the only thing that's really happened is that one of those spyware pop-ups where you have to click 'yes' or 'no' somehow got the "always trust content from ____" box checked on it;

so now whenever I go to check my e-mail I get a bunch of spyware downloaded onto my computer

then I have to run the program that gets rid of it all

it's a pain in the ass

it's been raining here for the past few days

not the nice, overcast, drizzling rain that I like

but real rain that just leaves everything wet and cold; with the sun poking through the clouds every once in a while to piss me off even more

but at least the temperature's gone down

for a while it was around 90 degrees

it's just not right for it to be that hot this early in the year

I wish I had something interesting to say

it's not enough that I'm still angsty; I have to be dull as shit too

anyway,

the "contest" continues,

keep sending in those witty suggestions

all 1 and a half of you...

Sweet Dreams

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