"Low" 2004-03-30 - 2:33 a.m.

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another wasted day

I'm starting to get really sick of everything

not that that's anything new

every day my parents give me the same lecture

the same shit

every day

as if I'm just not getting it

and one day I'll say: "oh, ooooh"

and jump up and put on my nice shirt and tie and go out and come back with a job

like it's so simple and I'm just missing something

but telling me the same Goddamn things day after day will solve this whole problem

next time they say it I'm just going to explode

I think if I don't find a job soon, things are going to end badly

I don't know

in good news,

Ruben talked his ex-girlfriend into playing drums for us

I don't know how long that's going to last or how it's going to work if it does

but at this point I'll take anything

who knows

I feel too down

it's a vicious cycle

my parents give me shit about not having a job

I get depressed and don't look for a job

and so my parents give me shit about not having a job

and I can't help but think how drastically my life would turn around if I could just accomplish this one task

how different my life would be if I could only find a job

but I just can't seem to find one

at this point it's almost like some kind of divine intervention keeping me from getting a job

I hate how repetetive this all is

I just keep bitching about getting a job

over and over and over again

something so mundane

but it's become this epic drama for me

it makes me so disgusted I can't belive that this is what my life has become

I need a fucking drink

Sweet Dreams