"Mad World" 2004-03-19 - 2:31 a.m.

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not much to say

tomorrow Ruben and I are going to meet another potential drummer

I've learned not to get my hopes up

especially because this guy seems to be our last hope

I don't know

not much else happening

today I realized that I went to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs just over a week ago

it feels like months

time moves so slowly when nothing is happening

the only thing keeping it from standing still is the band

and even that is stagnating while we wait to find a drummer

I haven't written any new music in a while

I just haven't been feeling creative

I haven't been feeling motivated at all lately, now that I think about it

I barely even play videogames anymore

I just sit on my couch and flip channels(because television sucks and I hate it) and wait for time to go by

Tears for Fears' Mad World just came on the internet radio

and combined with what I'm typing it's making me real depressed

I Find It Kinda Funny

I Find It Kinda Sad

-that so many goth kids put those lines all over their diaries because of Donnie Darko

heh heh

I've worked long and hard to become this much of a smartass; don't think I'll stop just because I feel like shit

I don't know

in the only other news I've got;

I accidentally downloaded some spyware onto my computer

"how accidentally?" you may ask,

well, I went to check my e-mail; but I didn't have any new mail, so I started to type in the address for the next page I wanted to go to while my e-mail page was still loading

and one of those "do you wish to install and run ___ Bullshit Spyware" thingies came up while I was typing

and if you hit the 'enter' key; it clicks on the highlighted button, the same as if you went and clicked on it with your mouse

I hit the 'g' key while typing in the address probably to this website

apparently 'g' doubles as 'enter' sometimes

so it just went ahead and downloaded itself onto my computer

and not only that; but it continuously downloads more components to itself all the time

so basically; my harddrive is fucking full; and I don't have enough ram to run more than two programs at a time

and sometimes not even that many

I fucking hate spyware

I cannot believe it's legal

it's a hideous invasion of privacy!

I mean, if you could delete it it would be one thing,

but unless you're a computer whiz; you can't find all the components

that's why it's called "spyware" it hides itself in your computer and monitors what you do on the internet

it's complete bullshit

I don't know

a few weeks ago my dad bought two laptops from the place he works

he took one, my sister took the other

and she's supposed to transfer all her computer files onto it; and give me her old computer

so I'm just going to take all the files I use and put them onto that computer; and fucking wipe the rest of this shit, spyware included

but it's taking her fucking forever to transfer her files, which is bugging me

I don't know

I wish I had something interesting or entertaining to say in here

I'm sick of just bitching about little things that bother me

but the truth is I'm just not doing anything

it disgusts me

I just can't figure out why I have such little motivation to do anything

even stuff I enjoy

I don't know

maybe those five glorious days at Honeybaked Ham will turn me around

when they actually come, in two weeks

until then it's more flipping channels ailmessly and letting some faceless asshole company watch me look at fat-girl porn

Whopee-Fuckin'-Doo

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