"Komakino" 2004-01-26 - 4:08 a.m.

older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj

I feel weird tonight, boys and girls

I just realized that I'm getting depressed

funny that I've never realized it before

all the times I've felt like this I've never realized it was the precursor to depression

I felt fine all night, and then suddenly; I felt weird

and then I slowly drifted down to depression

huh

and that's how I know it's saratonin levels

I was happy and feelin' fancy free

and with no cause or warning; I suddenly feel like shit

anyway,

today I rented the MST3K version of "Manos: The Hands of Fate"

and just; wow

it's one thing to say it's the worst movie ever made

it's entirely another to sit through it

I don't think I could've done it without the MST3K crew

the directing would make Ed Wood cry

I hope it really is the worst movie ever made

because if there's something out there worse than Manos...

the world is doomed

I don't know

shit

the only reason I'm typing this is because it's the last thing I can do to feel like I'm connected with someone

anyone

no one's ever on IM this late

and I'm bad at actual conversation anyway

it's so much easier to just ramble into this little box and letting you poor bastards look at it when I'm done

but then I feel bad because it's not entertaining

I don't know

I realized today that I haven't thought about suicide in a while

it's weird because for a while I was a little obsessed with it

but I fought the urge and I'm still here and I haven't thought about it in weeks

I feel like I'm in a fucking support group

"my name's Brett, and it's been a few weeks since I've thought about suicide"

let the healing begin

blah

wow, this one turned around in a hurry, didn't it?

I'm sorry

�

�