"Metaphor" 2004-01-12 - 3:35 a.m.

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I realized that my last entry was my 600th entry

wow

what a shitty 600th entry

but I use this to vent my feelings, and sometimes I need to vent excitement

it just makes for crappy reading

tonight I feel bad, though

for a lot of reasons

I have to call the school tomorrow and see about my diploma

and once that's over I have to start planning for my future

fuck

like I have any idea what my future's going to be

where I want to go and what I want to do

I still don't know

all I know is that I don't want to be here anymore

but I'm not ready

I don't know

as nervous as I am about that I know, deep down, that when it comes to these things

where I'm just thrown into an important situation

the whole time I'll be panicking; but I usually land on my feet, facing the right direction

for all the shit luck I have I seem to be downright blessed when it comes to the important stuff

sometimes I think all the bad shit is the deficit left by the horrendous amounts of good luck I use on the big stuff

let's just hope I don't fuck up

ironically, talking about it has cheered me up a little

but there's still other things to keep me down

I've prepared a few words; a surrogate eulogy for something that never really was:

*ahem*

Lives Move On, Old Habits Are Fallen Into, While New Discoveries Are Lost. Warmth Fades And No One Says A Thing, And The Curtain Falls On All That Could've Been.

Gabba Gabba Hey, Amen

you stole my pure intentions

you are the sickness in between

let me in, i'll bury the pain

you taught me to be sad as you

you almost made me take it all

let me in, i'll bury the pain

you bend me and you shake me

you make me then you break me

let me in, i'll bury the pain

you made me feel like a sinner

now you fear you'll die alone

let me in, i'll bury the pain

the sickness that you are

the flames that made me scar*

do you think you can show me

how i've come this far

the sickness that you are

the flames that made me scar

do you think you can show me

how i've come this far

i feel it's taking over

everthing falls dark

break me open, the desperate cry

the sickness that you are

the flames that made me scar

do you think you can show me

how i've come this far

the sickness that you are

the flames that made me scar

do you think you can show me

how i've come this far

-Metaphor

In Flames

*-[actual line:"the plague that made me starve". before I looked up the lyrics I thought it was what I put; and I like that better]