"A Beautiful Affirmation of Life" 2003-12-31 - 4:08 a.m.

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I hate the way things work out sometimes

no matter how much I bitch about how everything's my fault; occasionally I have to admit it's not

it seems like whenever I do decide to actually do something; it ends up coming down to some other party who takes for-fucking-ever to get around to it

and so sometimes it's not my fault

I was supposed to take my car to the shop today

I called, and they said it would be better if I could come in tomorrow

bastards

I've been waiting two weeks-too long as it is

when I actually decide to stop wallowing in my own self-pity; I like to actually get things done

stupid, slow world

and, my dad decided it would be best if I get my car in as soon as they open tomorrow

which is 7:30 in the morning

I don't want to fucking wake up at 7:00 so that I can get my car to the place by 7:30

but if I don't, my dad will make a big deal out of it

and so I'll get up, put my contacts in, get half dressed, drive down there so I can get it into the shop; and fucking walk back since no one will be up to drive down there with me

all on three hours' sleep

and if you think I'll be getting back to sleep you don't know me well enough

and yes, it is easier to do that than it is to have my dad make a big deal out of going in later

*le fuck*

and I still haven't gotten around to calling the school about the current idiotic shit they're pulling now

I don't even want to talk about it in here

but suffice to say, if I call the school and they give me any resistance whatsoever; I'm going to end up screaming at whichever poor bastard ends up picking up the phone that day

of course, now that I think about it; it's not like the people at school don't deserve to be blown-up at

but I just want to get my diploma and get away with as little friction as possible

and blowing up at one of them is going to cause friction

nevermind the friction from the bullshit they're pulling

gah, I don't know

I'm gonna move on

so tomorrow is New Year's Eve

in the immortal words of Hudson*: "Whoopee-fuckin'-doo"

I like All Hallow's Eve better

nyuk nyuk nyuk

I don't know

just another year for me to tragically waste

the only good thing about tomorrow is that Stephanie/Mariah are having a Family Guy Marathon at their house; and I'll probably go to that

it'd be real nice to drive there in my own working car; but I've learned not to get my hopes up about...

anything

oooh, aren't I dark?

it's just hard to be cheery when you're looking at a grand total of three hours sleep for the next day; which is shaping up to be un-fun in the extreme

I've needed to take a shower and shave for probably over a week now, but I just can't bring myself to

what's the point? who the hell do I have to look nice for?

I'm unemployed, and my car doesn't work to go out and look for new jobs

and tomorrow I'm going to take my car to a shop where I'll pay them $33 to tell me I'm going to have to spend $300+ on it as well as wait longer

and while I'm at it I might as well bitch about how lonely I am and for one night only I'll throw in a sexual frustration rant for free

because as much as it disgusts me to admit I want it;

it would be nice to get rid of this damn virginity

blah

one of these days I'll have funny, lighthearted entries again

and monkeys will fly out of my butt

Sh'Yeauh!

*-[tell me what movie the character/quote is from and win a prize!]