"A Day At The Races" 2003-12-16 - 4:01 a.m.

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today seemed to go by in the same way all days off go;

nothing was really accomplished, I don't feel too happy, and now it seems like I haven't been to work in ages

because I'm fucked up

I don't know

today wasn't all that bad actually

I got up this morning and had to go out and get parts for my car

I drove all fucking over town looking for a goddamn airfilter

I went to four places, and the third place told me that I could go to the fourth place who had it

the fourth place was on the left side of a road[from where I was coming from] where apparently people don't need to make left turns between 4 and 6 in the evening; monday through friday

the sheer frivoloty of that astounds me

I can't even put it into words

but the fact that I had to suffer the brunt of that today ended up with me throwing my voice out screaming at other drivers

so yeah

after that my parents took me out for steak for my graduation

because I should be getting my diploma this week; and this was the only night this week my whole family will be together

so the steak was nice

then my parents gave me my graduation present

now; as you may remember

I asked for a PA system or an editing machine

well, I also mentioned to my mom that "if she got me the editing machine and had enough money left over, my own camera would be nice"

you can probably guess where this is going

my computer[well, their computer; mine's a piece of shit] has an editing program on it

but my parent's camera wasn't compatible with it

so: I got a camera for a graduation present

and rather than the compact, digital job I wanted

I got basically a mini-version of the one they have

weak

and here's the kicker: it didn't even have the cord to hook it up to the bloody computer

that's what I get for getting my hopes up, I guess

I don't know

I don't wanna really whine about it

but its still a good kick in the nuts

on the upside,

I set it up on a tripod on my room and recorded myself playing some songs on my accoustic guitar just for a reason to use the camera;

and my David Bowie impression is infinitely better than I had thought

here I was thinking I could sorta sing,

when really all I had to do was try to sound like David Bowie

it seems like little by little, my confidence is being built

slowly but surely, over the course of the rest of my life

maybe by the time I die I'll be able to make small-talk with strangers

and somewhere down the line I'll actually be able to flirt with other spirits/angels/whatever

gasp!

sorry kids, the sarcasm got away from me for a second there; I couldn't control it

anyway

as you may have read in my livejournal,

I've decided to buy a skateboard the next time I've got money to spend

I've wanted to skate since I was a little kid, but never really tried it

and lately it's just seemed more and more alluring

and plus my dad has been giving me the same speech my whole life about Trying Things

about how when he was a kid he never really tried anything because he was scared to fail

and now he looks back and thinks: "shit, I should've tried that"

and so now I'm going to try skateboarding

so that even if I don't follow through I can say: "look dad, I'm trying things. Now shut up"

I swear, my dad likes to give speeches

and he's only got like three or four that he's been giving me at applicable moments my whole life

just the same fucking thing over and over

but whatever

I actually want to learn to skate

I'm not sure why, since pretty much all the skaters I've ever met have been assholes

they're like jocks who listen to punk music

but whatever

I'm not doing it to meet people; I'm doing it 'cause it looks like fun

now I just have to get around to it

I've also decided that I am going to cut my hair

I'm still undecided on the issue of wether I want long or short hair

but I've decided if I want long hair I want it even;

and I've gotta cut it and let it grow out for that, so I'm going to cut it and have short hair

wether it's temporary and for how long depends

although I am going to keep a Devilock

off to the side like Davey[isn't it?] from AFI used to have

for some reason I like that better than the standard Misfits type

I guess it's like how people usually wear baseball caps with the bill forward

but having the bill backwards is just so cool

I don't know

the sarcasm's biting extra hard tonight

I'd better quit before it breaks loose

Sweet Dreams

P.S. - I almost forgot, I got the pictures back from Halloween, so here they are;

me as a Baseball Fury from the movie The Warriors:

here's another:

the ones Robyn had were better

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