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"Tomorrow" 2003-11-16 - 1:55 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj I don't even know where to begin something's gone wrong with my computer it's nothing major; but it's gotten really slow, and the internet radio stopped working I don't know what the problem is but it sucks anyway I got my schedule today and, of course, they scheduled me tomorrow I knew that was gonna happen that really pisses me off I tell them I can start work on monday, so they schedule me saturday and sunday and give me monday off I don't think they like me it bothers me because Sunday was the only day I cared about after that, the more hours the better but I didn't want to work sunday and they scheduled me sunday damnit anyway, I posted my full schedule in my livejournal but the gist of it is: I'm off this friday; and I don't have to go in until 7 on Saturday[but I'm probably going to sleep in] I have off on Thanksgiving(but we probably won't be able to do anything then anyway) and I don't have my schedule past next friday, so... I don't know I did find out something today, though I found out school actually did prepare me for life in the real world when I was in it I thought that it wasn't teaching me anything I could apply to real life but today I found out that it taught me to be able to sit in one place for hours and hours and not go insane I swear, orientation was sooooo boring today by the end I was zoning out so bad my daydreams were running together on the upside, though; Wal-Mart is a really nice place to work they treat their employees well and in the back there's tons of pictures of Sam Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart and I swear to God, he looks like an unholy combination of Bob Barker and Hugh Heffner Pimpest. Man. Ever. makes me understand why she calls herself "Jerri O. Phile" [think about it real hard] anyway sorry, I lost my train of thought on that one it was a doozy umm... I could go on about other little things that happened today, but they were pretty boring payday at Wal-Mart is this thursday; but since we[myself and the other new employees at the orientation today] only have a week of work; we won't be getting a paycheck but this week's hours will go towards the next paycheck in three weeks I did some math based on my schedule and the wage I'll be getting and I figured that my first paycheck will be in the area of $700 just thinking about it still puts me at a loss for words of course, that's guessing about my hours for the week after next; and before taxes it's most likely going to be in the mid $600's but still I mean, I'm going to go from having just barely enough money to buy cigarettes to having SIX HUNDRED-PLUS FUCKING DOLLARS I'm not shallow enough to make a joke about that getting me aroused [but I am shallow enough to do that about old men, apparently...] but that certainly gets me excited I can start a bank account with $300 and still have enough left over to buy myself a good leather jacket at the army surplus store, a few new effects pedals for my guitar, and nice Christmas gifts for my friends and family ok, maybe not quite that much but damn close damn close and I'm assuming that I've overestimated how much I'll be getting if I'm wrong about that... oh, man anyway, moving along the other thing is that I'm feeling kind of smothered by my work schedule like, I kind of assumed over these few days that I was just really busy; and then I'll go back to sitting around most of the time and only going to Wal-Mart in small intervals but seeing my schedule today snapped me back to reality I didn't realize quite how life-altering this was and I'm not really scared or complaining but it's just... I didn't realize before and it's just a shock to know that how I've been living for the past few years is done with [assuming, of course they keep me on after the holidays; which I really hope for] I'd gotten so used to that way of life that to see it go; even though I didn't really like it; is just a blow I don't know in other news; I feel really weird tonight because beneath my humerous, candy exterior lies a chocolatey center of pain and I seriously feel really happy but really depressed at the same time it's so bizarre I just feel so lonely and I want to say: "I miss this person" or "I miss that person" but no one person sounds right I miss them all and then some I feel so empty inside like something very important is missing and I don't know what it is and I just feel like there's a lump in my soul, and I'm going to start crying my eyes out any second but at the same time I'm in a rather good mood which is... beyond words and the M&M metaphor at the beginning of this topic was very true because it feels like the depression is in my chest, just a big hole like the girl in A Perfect Circle's 'Weak and Powerless' video just this horrific black hole in the middle of my chest but outside of that I feel fine even happy it's so intriguing that I've gone from just mentioning it to rambling about it in wonderment the only word for it is bizarre but whatever I'm sure I'll have some great stories after my first real day of work tomorrow Tomorrow, Tomorrow... It's twelve o'clock, and it's a wonderful day, I know you hate me, but I'll ask anyway, Won't you come with me, to a place in a little town, The only way to get there's to go straight down, There's no bathroom, and there is no sink, The water out of the tap is very, hard to drink, Very hard to drink, You, wait til tomorrow, You, wait til tomorrow, You say that money, isn't everything, But I'd like to see you live without it, You think you can keep on going living like a king, Oohh babe, but I strongly doubt it, Very hard to drink, Very hard to drink, You gonna wait too, fat boy, Fat boy, wait til tomorrow, You gonna wait too, fat boy, Fat boy, wait til tomorrow, You, wait til tomorrow, You, wait til tomorrow, You gonna wait too, fat boy, Fat boy, wait til tomorrow, You gonna wait too, fat boy, Fat boy, wait til tomorrow. -Tomorrow Silverchair � � |