"My Busy-Ass Day" 2003-11-15 - 12:27 a.m.

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I am so fucking tired

but at least I didn't get sick today

thank providence for small favors

I was awakened this morning at 8 AM by Wal-Mart calling me; scheduling an appointment for 11

so I went back to sleep for an hour

[read: laid in bed listening to Interpol for an hour]

so that gave me a grand-total of three and a half hours of sleep

then I got up and dressed and such and realized I still had an hour before my appointment

so I head to CDO, and give them the form to fax to U of A

there was some confusion initially because the form was double-sided and CDO didn't have a double-sided faxer dealie

so after I waited for a few minutes for my guidance counciler, the office lady just said: "screw it, I'll just fax it twice"

now, she didn't say 'screw it'; I don't remember exactly what she said there; but she did say the second part

that's not exactly fantastic but I found it amusing enough to get through my morning for some reason

next was Wal-Mart, where I arrived half an hour early

arg

so I walked over to electronics, where they had a stereo playing the radio; and I dug on some Collective Soul for about five minutes

then it was back to where I was supposed to wait for my interview

11 o'clock came and went

and they slowly realized that the guy who was supposed to interview me had up and left the store for the day, apparently without telling anyone

so at about 11:30 some other manager lady interviewed me

for some reason I was oddly relaxed; and I thought I was doing good

see, there's an Opinion Survey section of the application

and they mark any answers you gave that they find questionable; and then ask you about them in the interview

well, I thought I was doing well at it

then the lady stopped the interview and told me that, contrary to what we were led to believe in school; you CAN get an opinion question wrong

apparently that whole 1-9 scale is crap, they want you to either STRONGLY AGREE or STRONGLY DISAGREE[in big, capitol letters] with everything

that pissed me off to the core of my being

and I'm still disgusted talking about it now

for the rest of the interview I had the Joy Divsion song: "they walked in line"(which is a song about nazis) in my head

maybe that's a little extreme, but I don't like being jerked around about things that are supposed to be my personal opinion

plus I had very little sleep

anyway,

after that was over, I had to go to their doctor's office to get drug tested

[I dropped off the library book on the way]

that was a colossal waste of time, since I don't do drugs

anyway, I drove down there, sat in the office for forty minutes

peed in a cup and then headed home

getting home was an awkward experience

I told my dad I got the job, and he responded as if I was complaining to him

I said I got the job and he's like: "I bet you'll be smiling when you get that first paycheck in"

and I'm like: "yeah, dad I'm happy to have the job"

and he said: "well don't worry, once you've been working there awhile I'm sure you'll get used to it" and stuff like that

it was one of the most bizarre conversations I've ever been a part of

I kept saying how happy I was to have the job; and he kept responding as if I'd said something else entirely

it was just weird

anyway,

after that I vacuumed my house, and then attempted to take a nap since I was collapsing from lack of sleep

then, as I'm drifting off, I hear the phone ring

that was weird because I literally heard the phone ring from like, miles away, and pulled myself back into my body to answer it

I figured it was Stephanie, so I pick it up still more than half-asleep

Me:...hullo?

Mysterious Voice:Hi, is Brett there?

Me:uh, that's me- ...err, speaking

MV:Hi Brett, this is Wal-Mart calling; can you come in for an orientation tomorrow from nine to four?

Me:umm... yeah, sure...

Wal-Mart:ok, thanks

*hangs up*

*I lay back down*

Me: ...fuck

the conversation didn't go exactly like that, but that's the gist of it; plus I was practically sleep-walking, I don't remember exactly what was said

I'm lucky I remember it at all

if I had been awake I wouldn't've agreed

I do not want to wake up at 8 in the fucking morning again so I can head down there all early after being sleep-deprived all day today

anyway, I got about an hour of sleep/half-sleep

and woke up feeling rested and refreshed

so I went and hung out with Stephanie, Evan, and Evan's siamese twin/girlfriend Kathleen

I swear, those two spent practically the whole time entwined in eachother in one way or another

but we had fun

watched that Spirited Away movie; which was bizarre as all hell

I'm not even going to begin trying to explain it

then after ordering pizza we started to watch Screwed...

but we were watching it and realized that the scenes should have been funny

but they just weren't

so we shut it off and went our seperate ways

and then after almost destroying my van when I hit some sand that had somehow petrified into some fucking stalagmites in the middle of the damn road; I got home,

where I proceeded to exhaustedly tell my mother of the day's accomplishments

and now here I am, about to try and go to sleep at 12:30 AM

I can't believe it myself

I just hope I actually fall asleep instead of laying in bed so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open but somehow unable to fall asleep despite being dead-tired and having taken a sleeping pill for five hours until around 5 AM; like I've done before

shit, I don't wanna go to that fucking orientation tomorrow

that's gonna suck

that's gonna suck hard

and it's at 9 in the fucking morning

I just hope that once I start work they schedule me at night

I can't deal with this "morning" shit

**edit-I tried to get to sleep; and even though I haven't been trying that long, I found myself unable to sleep

and I was suddenly engulfed in this bizarre fear

like this overwhelming terror that made me want to cry

when I thought about the job and what I would have to be doing like, specifically it went away

but when I just thought about it in general I became terrified

and even though I didn't like it

it felt kind of...

comforting

and I just can't understand it

what the hell is wrong with me?**

Sweet Dreams

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