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"Teenage Lobotomy/Halloween(A Prelude)" 2003-10-31 - 1:45 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj I almost forgot it was Halloween it's actually Halloween now the same problems have been running through my head for the past three days non-stop I don't like to close my eyes because when I do it's like closing myself in my own little dark room with them I can just feel them pulsing away behind my eyes; burning at my brain like in FLCL, my brain has been shoved aside so that my head can act as an inter-dimensional gateway and it's broadcasting the same thing non-stop at full blast it feels like my eyes are gonna shoot out from the pressure I keep coming back to my eyes because that's where I can feel physical pain and even though it's probably from playing the new Castlevania game too much; it sure as hell feels like it's from the shit running through my head and playing Castlevania[or Onimusha] is about the only time I'm not being beaten to death from inside my head by my problems the resolution of this is most likely going to change my life it's like I'm standing at a fork in the road in the path of my life and every road is strewn with corpses and not in the fun way I had my job interview at Wal-Mart this morning they'll be calling me back for a second one soon I can't even concentrate when I'm there my problems are just swimming behind my eyes every pause in the conversation is filled by their overbearing repetition if it were a movie I'd be fruedian slipping and all my answers would be about my problems it seems like the biggest issues there's never anyone there to help you because the biggest issues are between you and the people who usually help you I'm considering calling up my therapist and making an appointment just to talk about this but wouldn't you know it? the real reason I'm not is: "twenty five dollars? I can't afford to spend that on a therapist!" that's me; Smarty McSmartson I don't know what the hell any of you see in me but that's beside the point the point is it's Halloween! Halloween is maybe the funniest holiday of the year why? because the original holiday was All Saint's Day or All Hallow's Day Halloween was All Hallow's Eve Hallow's Eve [or Hallow's E'en; as I seem to think was a variation of Eve that they used to say in the olden days] Halloween and All Saints Day faded out and the eve of that became the holiday and now; Halloween has it's own celebrated Eve known as Devil's Night or Hell Night where all the mischevious kids go out and spray paint shit and start fires and that my friends, is humor but I digress because I don't want to think about the issue at hand it's been years since I've been anything for Halloween last year I wasn't anything, because I was real sick the year before that I just put on a mask and wore all black and said I was "Duderazamus; Lord of the 7th Circle of Hell! Or, Captain Dudee for short." which was a Celebrity Deathmatch joke the year before that I put on a skull mask I'd had and dressed all in black; and just said I was evil the year before that was when I'd bought the skull mask I'd worn an old jacket and a straw hat and the mask; and I'd walked around carrying one of those Nerf Brain-Balls, which were shaped like Brains I said it was my brain and acted like I was retarded it was close to a costume but not really one and I can't remember the year before that but this year I'm being a Baseball Fury from the movie The Warriors and I've got my costume together the shirt was actually white; but I bought some grey dye and tried to dye it it came out fine, at first but the directions said to wash it again after you've finished dyeing it but before you wear it so I washed it and all the fucking dye washed off making it just dark white which pisses me off, but whatever most people probably won't get it anyway it'll look decent I'll take pictures and actually find someplace to host them this time; so you nice folks can see them I'll get some pics of how I look normally as well; so those of you who've never seen me can actually see me as if you care of course, if you took the time to read down here; I suppose you do for which I can only pity you I don't know I just want to sit and either play Castlevania or listen to the Ramones nice, fun music that doesn't require me to think or feel because everything just brings me right back to my problems and those are getting so bad that I'm starting to see them written on the walls in a never ending argument with myself it's fun knowing that whatever I do it's gonna end in heartbreak and a lot of pain Black Hole Sun, Won't You Come? And Wash Away The Rain... *** lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy! ddt did a job on me now i am a real sickie guess i'll have to break the news that i got no mind to lose all the girls are in love with me i'm a teenage lobotomy slugs and snails are after me ddt keeps me happy now i guess i'll have to tell 'em that i got no cerebellum gonna get my ph.d. i'm a teenage lobotomy lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy! ddt did a job on me now i am a real sickie guess i'll have to break the news that i got no mind to lose all the girls are in love with me i'm a teenage lobotomy -Teenage Lobotomy The Ramones � � |