"Problems" 2003-10-30 - 4:32 a.m.

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I didn't want to update tonight

but I can't sleep

some problems are eating away at my brain

they're two big problems with a situation I'm in

and it sucks because I can't do anything about either of them

my options are thus:

go along with the situation and just hope that the problems go away

or stop the situation and hope that the damage is minimal; and try to save what I can

I can't really see any way to fix the problems

admittedly one problem will go away with time

but the big problem won't go away

it'll just get bigger and bigger

until it explodes

and that'll leave people hurt and make everything a mess

but by trying to deal with it it's just going to make it explode now instead of later

there's no compromise;

either they give up or I give up

and I don't think either of us will be happy with the other giving up

and so do I ignore it, and pray that it's a dud?

do I try and address it; thereby causing it to explode now?

or do I simply abort the situation, and hope that the explosion from that is smaller than the explosion from the problem would be?

the real question is:

which one of those answers has the smallest explosion?

and will either of us survive any of the explosions?

it's a shitty set of circumstances

I can't see any happy endings from where I'm standing

and that makes me sick

which is why I'm up typing instead of sleeping so I can wake up all bright and chipper for my job interview later

I hate this

Happines And Peace of Mind Were Never Meant For Me...