"Unbreakable" 2003-08-20 - 4:43 a.m.

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I doubt any of you caught my last entry

(not the Mountain Dew one; there was a new one I put up in the middle of the night)

I heavily debated deleting it

but I left it up to let you guys know that deep down I'm still the tortured soul you all fell in love with

I just don't let it out as much

anyway

I sat in the dark in my room almost-crying for quite some time

long enough that my contacts stuck to my eyes as if I'd fallen asleep

then I got up; and tried again

and this time the music just flowed out of me

I wrote this melody that I'm really proud of

and the lyrics, which started out as a dark over-the-top metaphor for loneliness

[which has pretty much become the basis of all my songs; unless I'm writing them at someone]

turned into a Gothic Romp which is really quite amusing

plus it finally let me use a line I'd had in my head but hadn't been able to use for a while

anyway, about the quotes at the end(which I'll note); if I were recording this in a studio, they would be the actual soundbyte/quotes from the games Silent Hill and Silent Hill 2

[leave me alone, it's just an obsession]

inserted into the song a la White Zombie

but since I don't have that luxury if I ever get to play this live I'm probably going to end up saying them myself

which doesn't matter right now because I'm just writing them

anyway, I couldn't get the actual quote for the second one, and I didn't remember it as clearly as I thought i would; but that's basically the gyst of it

so without further ado:

I'm burning through the night

I'm losing all my mind

I'm crawling under glass

I wish my teeth won't grind

I am the wanderer

I'm walking all alone

I'm looking for my heart

my most precious stone

the fog rolls in slow

banshees howl and cry

spectres haunt the place

the place where I will die

the shadows call my name

the laughing rictus grin

the horror will consume

as the dead seek out sin

moon shines on a grave

the bright and hollow sky

no one could believe

the cost was their life

the streets are dark and cold

they're all coming for me

so I'm unbreakable

because I have to be

the fog rolls in slow

banshees howl and cry

spectres haunt the place

the place where I will die

the shadows call my name

the laughing rictus grin

the horror will consume

as the dead seek out sin

*quotes part*

"...I don't care if it's dangerous or not, I'm going to town either way."

'...like another world; it's like someone's nightmare come to life. It's dark and there's sirens.'

"I was weak. That's why I needed you... needed someone to punish me for my sins... but that's all over now... I know the truth. Now it's time to end this."

the fog rolls in slow

banshees howl and cry

spectres haunt the place

the place where I will die

the shadows call my name

the laughing rictus grin

the horror will consume

as the dead seek out sin

-Unbreakable

Me

this song falls victim to a number of habits of mine that I really need to break

the first is the fact that I crib a lot of lines from other songs and/or put in references to other stuff

that could eventually get me sued and I gotta stop doing that

another is that just about every song I've written I always end up disliking the first verse/verses before the chorus

I'm usually feeling my way around with that/those and by the chorus and other verses I know where I'm going, but looking back the original verses don't usually fit so well with the whole song

I don't think I could stop myself from writing like that originally

but I should go back and re-write the beginning to make it fit better before I consider a song done

the last is a really minor thing, but:

I always end it by repeating the chorus

that's really common in music, so it's not that big a deal

but it's something that bothers me

anyway

as Jill brought to my attention in a very polite note: she can't see the pictures I've been putting up here

I post them in here directly from my hard drive; so it may be that I'm the only one who can see them because of that and just never noticed it before because no one said anything

I really don't know until I find out if you guys can see them or not

but if anyone else can't see them than post a note or something

if you don't post then I'll assume that either you can see them or you don't care in which case you don't deserve to see them

I really don't know how to fix it if none of you guys can see them; because that's the only way I know how to post

so yeah,

something I felt I should say

Sweet Dreams