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"Anger and Heat" 2003-07-11 - 4:04 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj things have been awkward around here well, in theory anyway Monday night I had a fight with my mom I mentioned it briefly in here first she yelled at me for not telling my sister where I was going and then she yelled at me for not working on my government fast enough and she let it slip that it's "making her look bad" I got angry, and said(exactly): "can we have this discussion later?" and she said(exactly): "OK" and she went back to her room and I locked myself in my room the rest of the night and we haven't talked since now, honestly, to me "can we have this discussion later?" meant: "leave me alone and let's not talk about this ever again" but I figured she'd really want to discuss it later so she hasn't talked to me all week and tonight during dinner we didn't even look at eachother I'm more surprised than anything honestly I don't know if she's mad at me or she just thinks I'm mad at her because honestly(again) I really don't care yeah, that bothers me; but it's not like I really thought my mother really cared that much about me in the first place she cares about what she wants me to be, but not me and the fact that the whole reason she cares about that at all is because she's worried about how it makes her mothering skills look; doesn't change a whole lot you can't really lessen something already at the bottom(for lack of a better[or any] expression) at most I'm just planning to use it to weasel money out of her to get me to "forget" she said it but if she doesn't pay me the hush money I do intend to throw it in her face every time we argue of course if she's mad at me then I doubt it'll work but fuck it it's kinda nice not having my mom bugging me all the damn time anyway in other news it's HOT here well... that's not true they haven't made up a word to describe how hot it is here "hot" falls utterly short no matter how much emphasis you put on it I mean, it's "I can't believe everything's not on fire" hot it's "at what temperature do human beings start to melt, because *heh heh* I'm seriously getting worried" hot it's "wait, the mountains actually are on fire" hot I had my window open, my fan(pointed directly at me from three feet away) on high, the swamp cooler on high, I was wearing shorts; and it still felt sooooooo hot and that's inside if you go outside, even just for a moment, you come back inside sweating like you'd been playing sports all day it's around 110 degrees out there and when I say "around" I mean that I only glanced at a thermometer once, and I don't remember if it was closer to 105 or 115 but suffice to say it's literally beyond hot I have no idea how I'm going to sleep tonight shit Sweet Dreams � � |