"Crying on Saturday Night" 2003-07-06 - 3:48 a.m.

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...well, not really crying.

tonight I'm just feeling really empty.

it's like feeling lonely only not as specific.

my life is just really empty and boring, and I don't know how to change it.

I don't know how or where to meet girls.

I can't make friends.

I dont' know where I would go hang out.

I'm not the club-type.

There is a club around here that say they play "early-90's Alternative and Grunge"

[and when someone asks what my favorite kind of music is, I say: "early-90's Alternative and Grunge"]

but I don't feel like driving down there just to sit somewhere and not-drink and wait for girls to approach me

because God knows I can't approach them

I'm not the social-drinking type anyway

I figure if I ever do get around to drinking it's only going to be when I'm depressed

but regardless;

I'm so sick of getting up, sitting around my house all day, and then going back to sleep

but I don't know how to change

I like to pretend a job would make a difference

but I would just get up, go to work, come home, sit around, and then go to sleep

occasionally emerging to spend money

I'd like to be in a band, but I don't want to try until I get my PA System

and I'm not going to get that until I finish my Government

and I'm just having trouble getting myself to work on that

I know my problems are all my fault

but I can't change

and so I just sit and bitch about it

because that's all I know how to do

Soy un Per De Dor

I'm a Loser, Baby

So Why Don't You Kill Me?

Sweet Dreams