"Shitlist" 2003-06-06 - 2:51 a.m.

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"You're asking if they ever had an episode of Sesame Street where The Count killed someone and drank their blood?"

"yeah"

"no, they never did that"

I'm not so depressed today

nothing really happened at all today

had a minor fight with my mom over money

my dad wants to stop giving me money all together because "I'm 18 and I've graduated"

but I haven't graduated, and I've been 18 for some time now

whatever

and then my mom got all pissed about how I'm not working on my government or trying to find a job

and to be fair she's right

but I don't know, things just seem so hard

I just don't really have the will to do anything

and I know I keep saying that,

but it's true, and because of that I don't do anything, and therefore I have nothing to talk about

I watched the MTV Movie Awards,

and that little girl from The Ring won best villain

and that got me all pissed off

The Ring was a good movie

but it was SOOOOOOO dissapointing

I think by now everyone who's going to see the Ring has seen it, so I won't be blowing anything when I say:

IT WAS A FUCKING CHAIN-LETTER!!

THAT'S NOT SCARY AT ALL!!!

THAT'S BULLSHIT!!

Samara was the worst villain EVER!!

she ripped off Adam Jones'[Tool's guitarist and video director] video style to make the world's deadliest chain letter!

that's lame beyond the capacity for rational thought!

it makes me want to turn into the hulk

and not that crappy far-too-big cgi one from the new movie

to be fair the movie was pretty good, and they had some nice effects to make it really disturbing

and honestly Samara was pretty creepy in a couple shots

BUT IT WAS A DAMN CHAIN LETTER!!!!!!

sorry,

I just can't stand it

A FUCKING CHAIN LETTER!!!

sorry, that was the last time

moving on

the "best virtual character" category was hilarious

because when nominees are announced you can hear the audience clap

and for that category two of the nominees were Scooby-Doo and Kangaroo Jack

and the audience went dead silent for those two

now I love Scooby-Doo, but that movie will go down in history as one of humanity's worst crimes

but anyway, Gollum won, and he was doing that little arguing thing with himself(I didn't actually see the movie, by the way)

and the evil him said: "you don't have any friends"

and the good him said: "Dobby[or whatever the hell that little elf from Harry Potter(which was also a nominee by the way)'s name was] like us"

and the evil him yells: "Dobby's a f***ing f**!!!"

now I don't support gay-bashing in any way;

but that was fucking hilarious

I was laughing so hard

but yeah,

when the high-light and low-light of your day is provided by the MTV Movie Awards

you're better off dead

Sweet Dreams

My Life As A Movie:

opening credits: Makes No Sense At All by Husker Du

party scene: Love Rollercoaster by Red Hot Chili Peppers

falling in love scene: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by The Ramones

love love scene: Unbelievable by EMF

[I'm never sure wether that italicized double "love" means sex scene or like the romantic scene; so sometimes I put songs that would fit one and sometimes I put songs that would fit the other]

after a break-up driving scene: Dirt by Alice in Chains

driving to make-up the break-up scene: Feel the Pain by Dinosaur Jr

plain old driving scene: Diamond Sea by Sonic Youth

chase scene: Touch Me, I'm Sick by Mudhoney

fight scene: Shitlist by L7

funeral scene: Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails

closing credits: Till I Hear it From You by Gin Blossoms

When i get mad And i get pissed

I grab my pen And i write out a list

Of all the people That won't be missed

You've made my shitlist!

For all the ones Who bum me out

For all the ones Who fill my head with doubt

For all the squares who get me pissed

You've made my shitlist!

When i get mad And i get pissed

I grab my pen And write out a list

Of all you assholes Who won't be missed

You've made my shitlist!

Shitlist!

Shitlist!

-Shitlist

L7

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