"View Askew" 2003-04-29 - 3:33 a.m.

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on the lighter side of things:

tomorrow is probably my best chance to get the guitar out of my aunt

I'm moderately confident but not over-optimistic

in serious news:

things are really confusing right now

I'm so very tired, and I don't know what to do

I want to draw a hot bath and then get in the tub and slit my wrists

there's Robyn,

sometimes I think we're made for eachother

and sometimes I don't

I miss her either way

then there's Stephanie,

if anyone's seen the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch;

I used to think she was my other half

and for those of you who haven't seen the movie, that's still pretty self explanatory

but now I don't know

the only times we ever talk are when we argue

I want to say that I'll always love her

but that statement's starting to lose all meaning

I say it so often to no effect

bah

I'm so very tired

physically

mentally

and spiritually

Sweet Dreams

Baby was a black sheep.

Baby was a whore.

Baby got big and baby get bigger.

Baby get something.

Baby get more.

Baby, baby, baby was a rock-and-roll nigger.

Oh, look around you,

all around you,

riding on a copper wave.

Do you like the world around you?

Are you ready to behave?

Outside of society,

waitin' for me.

Outside of society,

that's where I want to be.

Baby was a black sheep.

Baby was a whore.

You know she got big. Well, she's gonna get bigger.

Baby got a hand; got a finger on the trigger.

Baby, baby, baby is a rock-and-roll nigger.

Outside of society,

that's where I want to be.

Outside of society,

they're waitin' for me.

*those who have suffered, understand suffering,

and thereby extend their hand

the storm that brings harm

also makes fertile

blessed is the grass

and herb and the true thorn and light*

I was lost in a valley of pleasure.

I was lost in the infinite sea.

I was lost, and measure for measure,

love spewed from the heart of me.

I was lost, and the cost,

and the cost didn't matter to me.

I was lost, and the cost

was to be outside society.

Jimi Hendrix

was a nigger.

Jesus Christ and Grandma, too.

Jackson Pollock

was a nigger.

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger,

nigger, nigger, nigger.

Outside of society,

they're waitin' for me.

Outside of society, if you're looking,

that's where you'll find me.

Outside of society,

they're waitin' for me.

Outside of society. (Repeat)

-Rock N Roll Nigger

Patti Smith