"." 2003-01-16 - 12:47 a.m.

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I'm tired of all of this

I'm tired of being the one who freaks out in his diary and then gets yelled at by his friends when only a few words on a screen aren't enough to comfort him

if I could take everything I said over this week back, I would

but it takes me a week of saying the wrong things before the right thing comes out; but by then I've made a ton and a half more problems by saying the wrong things for a week

I fucking hate zoloft

it

does

NOTHING

I'm still fucking depressed as all hell

and side effects include: diarrhea(just what I fucking need), sleepiness, and insomnia(what?)

(how can you have both sleepiness and insomnia? I swear that's what it says in the damn commercial)

but that's beside the point

I really should shut down my diary

all it does is get my friends pissed off

I freak out and say a bunch of stuff in here that I wouldn't usually say

and then they end up either hurt or pissed off or both

and allowing my friends such deep insight into the way I am hasn't helped at all

I somehow thought that it would

thought maybe they could read this and get to know me; understand me better

but nothing has been accomplished through this thing except pain

well, I did meet Jeanisdead, which is a plus

but that's it

other than that I fucking hate diaryland

I really wish I never fucking started using this thing

fuck this