"A Foregone Tomorrow" 2002-12-28 - 2:47 a.m.

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Another busy day for me

Didn't feel all that good today; but still managed to go out and get "100 Bullets; a Foregone Tomorrow" graphic novel from Borders

that sucked

the drive, not the novel

I loved the novel

100 Bullets is one of my favorite comics

it's a really twisted series, from DC's Vertigo imprint

there's two plots

"Plot A" involves "The Trust" a coalition of 13 crime families, trying to deal with their former police force(who formerly held allegience to no specific crime family and would keep them all in line, so that "the trust" would remain 'trustworthy') who have now gone rogue

oh, and neither of them really seem to be "the good guys"

"Plot B" is what the series is named for. It's a series of small plots that last around one to three issues, but don't carry over beyond that. The only constant is that the leader of the police force from "Plot A"(who are called "The Minutemen"), Agent Graves, goes around giving out breifcases to random people that hold an untraceable gun, a hundred untraceable bullets(the namesake), and a picture of whoever made that particular person's life fucked up. He gives it to them with a promise that if they accept it and choose to take revenge; no legal action will be carried out against them, the police are a non-entity. He does it for his own sick amusement(As far as I can tell, anyway; although it keeps hinting at some ulterior motive, I can't quite grasp it. I'm assuming it'll be revealed as I obtain more of the series).

Anyway

A few hours later I went to Wilson and met Stephanie

we hung out for quite a while

hung out with Robyn eventually too

when they got together those two got really hyper; which caused me to get really quiet

no offence guys, but I really don't dig the whole 'hyper' vibe

from anyone

anyway, after I got home I worked on my comic

did some more sketches of myself and Stephanie's characters

(I do find the evening's work particularly noteworthy; but as I wrote the latest entry of my livejournal about it, I'll direct you there instead of retyping it in here [ www.livejournal.com/users/opiatejr ])

next time I'm gonna start work on Evan and Robyn's

hanging out tonight with Steph made me realize just how much she means to me

I don't even want to try to think about my life without her

I think if I ever lost her that I just plain wouldn't be able to continue

there would be no point

(this is astoundingly good segueway for my next topic)

I've decided that I'm going to take a year off after high school(or, what passes for it, anyway) to wait for Stephanie to graduate, so that we can go to Seattle together

but in truth, I would wait twenty years

the only thing I feel bad about is that I'm afraid I'm going to make her think I'm falling in love with her again

which I'm not

to be honest, though; I didn't think it was possible to feel this way about another human being

to feel this close to them and yet not desire a further relationship

I don't think I described that right, but hopefully Steph will know what I mean(she tends to do that) and not get the wrong idea

but anyway

now that I've decided that I'm going to take a year off, my need for a job isn't so bloody urgent

I've got over a year and a half to get enough money together for life on my own

admittedly, I'm hoping to move out of my parent's house(but not out of tucson) before then;

but it's still not urgent

and with that in mind blowing off the month of January to wait until I see the specialist again before looking for a job doesn't seem so bad

it also takes a lot of pressure off me, makes me more relaxed

and also, it gives me time to do the 'band thing' right

I think I'm gonna dump Trevor

over 'creative differences'

although I share some of his taste in music; I don't want to play that kind, and I don't want to force him to play the kind I want to

and despite how good he is; he's more into improvising(which I despise) and has the absolute worst memory of all my friends(which is saying something)

he can't remember which songs we should play, and as such has a lot of trouble learning songs

and since Robyn says she wants to learn drums, I'm gonna keep her on as drummer

I figure by the time she gets a drum set and learns to play; I'll have a job and be able to afford a PA System

I'm also going to be sticking with bass

which just leaves us in the market for a guitar player

but as I said; by the time we accheive the goals I listed above, I'm sure we'll have found someone

And finally; I'd like to conclude with some venting

keep in mind this has nothing to do with anything; and I'm not sure why I even thought of it. I'm not mad at Stephanie and I don't want her to be mad at me.

So just, yeah

take this as venting, and nothing more; kind of 'backwash' from my previous three entries

Stephanie: Don't you tell me to not be bothered that my crush/crushes don't work out; you have so many people who like you. I know that bothers you, but still, you practically have people falling over eachother to date you. I, on the other hand, have the opposite. NO ONE that I've EVER been interested in; has ever felt the same. NO ONE is EVER interested in me. NO ONE. I've had one girlfriend. ONE. And she just randomly decided to date me before she knew me, and after she did I found out we had nothing in common. I'm just saying that you have no right at all to talk to me about people not liking you.

Yeah, sorry Steph.

that was over-exaggerated venting and nothing more

pay no attention to it

I just had to get it out of my system

yeah,

Sweet Dreams