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"Lithium" 2002-12-14 - 1:32 a.m. older - previous - next - profile - host - my band - my lj today was odd I slept in my clothes, and spent all day literally moping around I laid in my bed with my hair brushed in my face and the shades drawn being depressed as hell all day then I decided to just go out anyway and go shopping for Christmas presents (I did find one, but not the one I was looking for) (and now I've only got one or maybe two more presents left to buy) anyway, I met Cody and Jinx and Genevieve at the mall I hadn't seen Jinx in forever, it was wonderful we hung out for hours, and she introduced me to some of her older friends that was cool I'll have to hang out with her more often it'll probably lead to me developing a drug habit, but who gives a fuck? I hate my life anyway but yeah, so that was cool anyway, I have a little sheet about Irritable Bowel Syndrome that my mom gave me, talks about some things that aggravate the condition and it agrees that the best things to do are quit smoking, cut down on caffiene, exercise, and minimize stress now, the exercise thing is good, now I have a reason to make myself exercise, I've been trying to exercise regularly for a long time, but I just don't have the discipline the minimize stress thing falls under the category of "duh" that's what I've been trying to do all along, but so far nothing's been working [oh, and on a side note; I talked to my therapist on the phone today, she said that the Zoloft may very well be working in reverse. Anti-depressants treat very specific disorders, and if you get one that doesn't treat yours, then your body will reject it and I guess that's what causes it to work in reverse. She told me to get a different medication. Here's hoping for Lithium] the quitting smoking thing sucked ass, smoking is one of the few things that comforts me, simply because they reassure I'm dying, and I find that very comforting (aren't I fucked up?) the caffiene thing also sucks beyond the capacity for rational thought for years I've strongly believed that caffiene is a cornerstone of our society, and I know it's one of the things that allows me to function period. cutting it out of my diet to aid my stomach is definitely going to hinder me in other ways but yeah, when I went to the mall and hung out with Jinx and everyone; they were all smoking so I gave into the temptation and just said "fuck it" and bought another pack of cigarettes I figure I used to just drink caffiene and not smoke, and I got by, but when I started doing both it got worse, so now I'll just smoke it'll work, right? yeah, I know it won't too... anyway, speaking of Lithium; I used to think that all the talk about Kurt Cobain being murdered and not just commiting suicide were a bunch of people who couldn't handle the fact that they've lost their hero making up delusions so that they can attach a scapegoat to their pain but now that I've read this: http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Kurt_Cobain.html I think that there's definitely something to that theory who knows? anyway, Sweet Dreams I'm so happy Cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly That's ok, cause so are you Broken mirrors Sunday morning Cause everyday for all I care And I'm not scared Light my candles In a daze cause I found god Yeaa (X bunch of times) I'm so lonely That's ok, I shaved my head And I'm not sad And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard And I'm not sure I'm so excited I can't wait to meet you there And I dont' care I'm so horny That's ok, my will is good Yeaa (x bunch of times) I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I killed you I'm not gonna crack I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I killed you I'm not gonna crack I'm so happy Cause today I found my friends They're in my head I'm so ugly That's ok, cause so are you Broken mirrors Sunday morning Cause everyday for all I care And I'm not scared Light my candles In a daze cause I found god Yeaa (X bunch of times) I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I killed you I'm not gonna crack I like it I'm not gonna crack I miss you I'm not gonna crack I love you I'm not gonna crack I killed you I'm not gonna crack -Lithium Nirvana � � |