"Life Hurts" 2002-12-03 - 12:24 a.m.

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This Christmas is going to suck

I just know it

I'm way too stressed to enjoy this holiday at all, no matter what I get

and usually I enjoy the overall Christmas spirit as well

stupid life

I don't know if I can handle this

I'm probably going to end up freaking out and talking shit about all my friends in here again

then come back with "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm sorry. I'll understand if you hate me but just know I'll always love you."

I do things like that when I freak out

I hate the fact that I'm going to feel life chafing until I finally get out of here

six months

just six months

Jesus Christ

I wish I could do like in Bloodrayne and just slow everything down

deal with each problem one at a time, and be the only one left standing amidst bloodstains and severed limbs

despite the fact that you'd think I have all the time in the world to see what I do all day, so much of my problems involve waiting that even though it's like they are moving in slow motion; I still don't have enough time to deal with them all

and my insomnia's back

I spend hours in bed torturing myself with all my problems

it's as bad as it was at it's worst the first time around

I can't get to sleep until 4 or even 5 AM

and I doubt my parents will be buying me sleeping pills again any time soon

the only solace I have is that I'm getting new glasses thursday; and that I can distract myself with buying christmas presents for my friends and family

I can make myself feel better by buying gifts for people I hate[my family, not friends]

yeah, life is fucked up

Touch Me, I'm Sick

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