"THANKS FOR NOTHING, GOD!!" 2002-11-29 - 1:29 a.m.

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I've realized that no matter how hard I try; I will never make Robyn happy

in other news, my livejournal's up in case you missed my last entry; just hit "previous" to go get the address

so far there's nothing in it really

my breakfast now conists of coffee and a bunch of pills

and despite taking them all I still got sick today

which is making me doubt them already, making my outlook on life somewhat grim once again

I've also decided that I'm not going back to school

I'll finish up this semester of english getting my homework from the teacher at school; but after that it's all correspondance courses for me

all I'll need for next semester is government and english

I'm sure my parents won't be thrilled, but I'm 18 now; and it's about bloody time that meant something damnit

I'll just get a job

also, I'm now pretty sure that I am going to give up bass

I'm not 100% sure, but I'm at least 90%

usually when I'm not sure of something, I'm usually leaning towards one option or the other; but for the first time in a long time I honestly could not decide wether to give up bass or not

the deciding factor I guess was that my heroes Maynard James Keenan; Joey Ramone; and Layne Staley all just sing

and while I'm not the type of person to do something just 'cause someone else[even if I do consider them a "hero"] does it

it does make me feel like "if they could just sing without getting crap for not playing an instrument, so can I"

I honestly enjoy playing bass, but it'll be easier on me to just sing; and I really like Misty, I'll be glad to have her in the band

which brings me to my next point, I don't know if I'm going to get my current band back together

Trevor and Aaron don't care, I don't know how Robyn feels, and Misty doesn't even know yet

I want to

but supposedly it takes a while for the medications I'm taking to kick in, and my main goal for the band I'm in now is to play Doradostock

if the medications don't work until it's too late to get ready for Doradostock, it'll be pretty late in the year anwyway[school-year wise], and my goal is to get to college next school-year

if I end up taking a year off because of my disease or whatever; then I'll definitely end up getting everyone together

but if I'd only be getting us together for a month or two before I took off for college(hopefully in Seattle[ok, Olympia, but it's a short drive I think]), then there wouldn't be much point

I might as well just wait until I get to college and start a band there

but we'll see

Let Me Sleep So My Teeth Won't Grind...

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