"Only the Lonely" 2002-10-15 - 8:50 p.m.

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back to depressed mode

sweet misery

they made a video for "You Know You're Right" by Nirvana

it's all clips from performances of theirs but it's done in such a way that it's pretty much a tribute

seeing that early in the morning is what started me on the path to depression

then I read my notes and realized I'd hurt Stephanie, that only depressed me more

sorry Steph

most of the day is a blur; except a little bit ago I went to Wilson all by myself

I invited Stephanie, well; I was going to, but she was busy

I don't mind

anyway, I walked around the campus for about an hour

alone, in the dark

I'm going to start doing it everyday

the reason I enjoy that place so much is probably because I don't have any emotional scars stemming from the place

like others I know

whenever I'm there by myself I always daydream about my dream-girl walking up and being all depressed too and we start talking and so forth

I've realized that I have somewhat high standards when it comes to girls, my "dream girl" is very specific in every aspect

but I figure since I fall below the standards of everybody

wether they fit mine or not

there's no reason I can't dream

if you know for a fact you won't get anything at all for Christmas; there's no reason you can't dream about coming downstairs in the morning and finding a big box with everything you want in it

*sigh*

only in dreams...